The Story Worth Telling

The story worth telling is the one that strikes closest to the heart of the matter. When I first started teaching and broke my model of coaching into proficiencies, ways of being and logistics, the participants got a great deal out of the class but it wasn’t personal. It didn’t sink in as deeply as I wanted it to. And then I started using examples to illustrate the various bits and pieces of the proficiencies and uniqueness of the Shadow Coaching™ model. That still wasn’t enough.

So one day I decided to watch myself in action as I shadowed. I was with a client I’d been working with on and off for almost a year and I was able to look at the intricacies of what I did. That’s when it hit me that the best way I brought forward increased awareness was when I used a story….a story that was personal, not generic, that would illustrate not only where my client was at the present time but where he could go if he made certain choices. We created his story in real time.

That’s when I decided to use a story to pattern my training around. Not only did the story bring context to our work in class, but gave a commonality to how we could build the model in real time as I took the participants through the life of a specific corporate client.

Stories, narratives, have a way of reaching beyond models, concepts, and ways of being to what’s real. Everyone can wrap their heads around something real. Not everyone has as easy a time taking concepts and making heads or tails of them.

Coaching via narrative is becoming more and more the norm. Any mode of teaching, mentoring and training can sink in so much deeper when applied and put into context via a story. It’s also the best way for someone to see inside of who we are…telling the stories of our lives, our past, moments in time that will always stay with us for one reason or another.

How many of you have taken the time to share the stories of your past with those special people in your life? These stories create a three dimensional image of who you are… more than a photograph or resumé…it’s you in the context of life. You and that image have traveled very far together to become who you are right now. Write these stories down…share them….let others get a glimpse.

It’s one of the reasons why I blog. I’m more that the Shadow that runs through the halls of an organization coaching clients. It’s a way for those who know me, heard of me or have never met me at all to see a bit deeper into who I am and why I have become what I’ve become.

Welcome. I’m happy to share with you.

…and wish you the best!
Donna Karlin

How Can Coaching Advance Synergy in Community?

This August 27th, 28th and morning of the 29th, The International Consortium for Coaching in Organizations will be holding a symposium "Synergy in Community". For the first time a team of Master Coaches will be going into the community the day before the symposium to coach them in their organizations. Then on the Thursday we will be holding a ground breaking symposium to help the community move forward in these challenging economic times.

My colleague and fellow design team member for this event wrote a wonderful piece about this upcoming symposium which I'd like to share with you. Even more so I would love to share this event with you. Click here to find out more and to register.

How Can Coaching Advance Synergy in Community - by Mary Jo Asmus

Our ancestors, in the spirit of community, regularly sat around a fire to have conversations that deepened their own communal connections. This dialog assisted in increasing the quality of life in the places where they lived. In our modern-day communities, there is a longing for shared meaning, connections, and the deep conversation that coaching can bring to our world of electronic social media and speed-of-lightening pace.

• How can coaching support the individuals and organizations that sometimes struggle to define their roles and find their place in the modern community?

• What are the ways that these organizations can work synergistically to optimize the spirit of community? What does coaching have to learn from a community?

• What can a community learn from coaching?

A number of senior coaches and community leaders will explore these topics through “Synergy in Community”, the first ICCO Community Symposium on August 27-29 in Kalamazoo, Michigan. The word “synergy” invokes the combined sum of individuals doing greater good than a single person can alone. In this ICCO community symposium, we will be exploring how the combined sum of individuals and organizations can work together to create and sustain greatness within our communities.

In the places where we reside, people often pass by their next door neighbors without knowing them; they expect their governments or “somebody” to take care of the problems of crime, poverty, empty buildings, unemployment, litter and whatever else plagues the places they live and work in. These problems must be dealt with in order for us to enjoy the successes of synergy in our communities. They can be only be addressed by the “somebodies”(individuals and organizations) who are willing to roll up their shirtsleeves and work together for the common good of the places they live and work in.

Does coaching have a role in supporting the somebodies who are responsible for enhancing the quality of life in our communities?

Many believe it does.

Kalamazoo, Michigan is a mid-sized city with a cultural history of somebodies who have taken responsibility to assure that life in their community is the best that it can be. It is a city of business innovation, beginning with W.E. Upjohn and his “friable pill” that fueled The Upjohn Company growth, as well as a myriad of companies throughout its history, embraced the innovation that fueled prosperity and the growth of the community: Checker Motors, Gibson Guitars, Stryker and many others. More recently, it is the home of the ground-breaking “Kalamazoo Promise”, where an anonymous group of donors has funded the college education for every graduating high school senior. In refusing to accept the economic recession as reality, Kalamazoo has recently supported new and existing companies in moving here or expanding, resulting in several thousand new jobs in the region.

However, Kalamazoo, like any city, cannot simply sit back and revel in its success. The quality of life in any community requires an ongoing collaborative spirit of dedicated individuals and organizations willing to “grab the rope” and work together, as in this excerpt from the book, Community Capitalism: Lessons from Kalamazoo and Beyond, by Ron Kitchens:

“Grab the rope!”
That is what you are likely to hear if you find yourself on a ship, becalmed and threatened. That is what you will hear when you have no wind to sail by or engines to propel. You must resort to kedging to get out of trouble.

…..Kedging is the act of having a light anchor (a kedge) loaded into a rowboat and taken out as far as the lines tied to it will allow. After dropping the anchor, every man, woman, and child on the main boat grab the rope and pull the line as if his or her life depended on it, literally hauling the ship to the anchor. This is repeated again and again until the ship arrives at its destination or the fair winds once again blow.

We hope that those of you who work, live, volunteer and have your heart in your community will consider joining us and grabbing the rope at the ICCO Symposium in Kalamazoo, Michigan on August 27-29, to explore and learn together how coaching can support the synergy in our communities.

Impossible Things

"There is no use in trying," said Alice;
"One can’t believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven’t had much practice,"
said the Queen. "When I was your age,
I always did it for half an hour a day.
Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast" - Lewis Carroll

Dreams to some can be pure nonsense....and to others, the means with which they shape their lives. To believe something is impossible is to never try....never have hope of the possibilities that your dream can happen. But to have that spark of hope where there’s even a tiny possibility, helps you be ready for the unexpected....like a wonderful surprise waiting to happen.

When I was speaking to friends recently about circumstances turning lives upside down, what came to mind was the only constant in life is change. And if we live with that premise, then we no longer have a feeling of being out of control, reacting to circumstance. Rather it’s the anticipation that something’s going to happen. Life then is never boring...or stagnant.

Woodrow Wilson said "We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true."

I believe that. If we bring our dreams into the light of day and nurture them, they will shape our lives forever.

So make them be great!
Donna Karlin

Clarity vs. Transparency? Why Choose?

I was recently reading a blog by John Maeda "Leaders Should Strive For Clarity, Not Transparency" and shared it with a colleague as this is a topic that always comes up in conversation, especially in times of organizational crisis. My colleague asked me a great question, "Why do we have to choose? Why does it have to be an either or?"

Great question. Why does it have to be either or? Why do we often feel we have to choose one over another when more often than not, we can choose both?

The article talks about transparency in times of recession where in his opinion a leader is better off being less transparent as difficult decisions have to be made. How about making them in such a way that embraces transparency and gives staff truth?

What a concept.

Where clarity comes in is in articulating that decision so that everyone can wrap their heads around the why it was made.

The clearer the simpler. And I'm all for simplicity.

You?

Best
Donna Karlin

There Can Be Order From Chaos

The reality right across the board is that my clients are overwhelmed with work, and their offices look like a tornado went through with stuff everywhere. They can't find anything, find time for anything and find enough time to do anything well and then have to find time to do it over 'cause it just isn't good enough the first time around (another whole conversation).

If this is you, you KNOW you're not going to be taking a whole day off any time soon to clean up the clutter. So start in small increments. Start processing, storing, filing, and delegating today's stuff and add a couple more things from yesterday's pile. You keep this up and before you know it, you'll have some order out of the chaos.

It works. THEN we'll have the space to work with the behavioural drivers that create the chaotic environment in the first place.

There is a method to my madness. Clear the clutter for some breathing space and then we have room to dive in.

Best!
Donna Karlin

Is Your Comfort Zone Shrinking?

I recently had a conversation with a client about our comfort zone, what it is and how you purposefully have to expand it or, without you realizing it, it begins to shrink, especially as we grow older.

To use a simple example, when you were a teenager and your friend bought a pair of jeans that you loved and you found out the only place you could get them was clear across the city, you'd get on a bus and travel an hour or more to get them. Sometimes you'd call a group of friends and make an outing out of it but you did go and get those jeans no matter what it took.

As you got older, perhaps without realizing it, even with a car, first you'd get on the phone calling other stores closer to work or where you lived to see if they might carry them. And then the rationalizing would start as to whether or not you really needed them because you do have two pairs of jeans and so what if these were great looking 'cause it was clear across town.

As you get even older often people say "No, I don't feel like going so far. I'll buy a pair that's similar or won't even bother". They'd start going to stores nearby rather than venture out of the neighbourhood 'without even recognizing you're doing that.

And so it goes. Your comfort zone or world begins to shrink unless you purposefully stretch it and go beyond your immediate boundaries. That goes for trying a new food, listening to new music, expanding your horizons in your area of expertise, especially if you tell yourself you're too close to retirement or "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". Who's boundaries are those exactly? Who said you have to stop learning or stretching into new territory?

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself." - Alan Alda

Even though we grow older, we have a whole world out there to discover, starting with who we are and our place within it. People do things out of habit rather than conscious choice until they start paying attention. Are you paying attention to your choices?

Best!
Donna Karlin

Succeeding in a Challenging Economy

How do you succeed in a challenged economy?

You stop thinking about the challenged economy.

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, “Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, so make it a positive and constructive one.”

That goes for the economy, someone you’re having difficulty with…even a toothache.

OK, I know that might sound like a ridiculous example but think for a moment to the last time you had a toothache . Your tongue continually goes there to press on it so you make the pain lessen. Are you thinking about anything else at the moment? Or when you get a mosquito bite and it’s itching like crazy, is your mind able to completely focus on anything else?

Same goes for the economic environment. I have been listening to clients in the corporate world talk incessantly about the economy to the exclusion of everything else…leaders in government who only talk about cutbacks and what they can’t do because of them and coaches, creative and other solopreneurs talk about how people are cutting back.

Let’s face it. We always have parameters within which we have to do our work. Change how you do it. Build something great in spite of it. Figure out what’s amazing with what you have right now. Make it be great! Make your thoughts be great and share them.

Best!
Donna Karlin