They Have Our Backs, Who Has Theirs?

It recently came to my attention that the Canadian Forces and their families are dealing with some devastating issues with regards to Home Equity Assistance (HEA) due to relocation for their jobs. Systemic HEA denial has cost these families dearly in every aspect of their lives.

They have our backs. Who has theirs? This community has reached out to ask Canadians for their support. Please help them spread the word as, if you're like me, someone who is not in the military but one who is grateful to live in this amazing country, you had no idea that this was going on either.

In the words of one family (of many) who are affected (and let me add that it took a great deal of courage to speak out):

After over three years, I am speaking out about some very significant issues facing Canadian Forces families upon relocation, ours being one of the more significantly affected. To date,a systemic denial of 100% HEA entitlements has cost families out of pocket and continues to keep them in the red each month.

Systemic HEA denial has cost families their relationships, bankruptcy, careers, health, quality of life and welfare. I would encourage anyone to read into this group and involve yourselves in the upcoming debate in the House of Commons on Tuesday, 27 Nov 2012 by contacting your MP. I have started this discussion group so that ensuing discussions can be an informed one.

To put this into context, since having our first child (12 years ago) we have relocated five times. Our single income family has lost over $200,000 due to the blanket denial of Home Equity Assistance entitlement during our last relocation. As for other CF families, between 2007-2010 there were 149 applications for HEA and ALL OF THEM WERE DENIED by Treasury Board Secretariat.

This has left our family doing without, our retirements savings gone, significant debts and exhausting the redress system. The only option left now is a Judicial Review costing tens of thousands of dollars, and even that does not provide a solution, but opens the door for a class action. Members in our situation do not have money to pay a legal team and are therefore denied justice.

Should our Canadian Forces soldiers be forced to wait 3+ years, take the Government of Canada to Federal Court and sell off their assets in order to get an "entitlement"? That's exactly what had to happen with the SISIP clawback lawsuit recently. Surely, there must be some accountability for TBS decision making process.

I know that after almost three and a half years of patiently applying for and grieving our entitlement decision, I have little left to sell, and am therefore out of time. I am not willing to declare bankruptcy for an issue which is clearly identified and supported by the Chief of Defence Staff, the Canadian Forces Ombudsman and the Canadian Forces Grievance Authority. All of whom are supportive, but have no authority to provide relief.

24 years of service in my situation equates to an unsustainable financial situation. If people knew what we have had to do to survive these last three years, they would be horrified. This is only one family's case.

After 24 years of service, having to take on the Treasury Board in Federal Court, at a cost of tens of thousands of dollars, to obtain an entitlement is not "supporting our troops".

I have taken on this issue on behalf of many, many soldiers and their families. Knowing full well the effects of suffering huge financial burdens, the effects on health, career, family, opportunity and relationships.  

I encourage your assistance in passing the word and engaging this discussion in a public forum. Please help us. Share your opinion and support with your Member of Parliament. 

The Essence of Great Leadership

Some leaders can have a meeting or retreat with their executive team over an eight hour period and basically give a state of affairs of that organization, what strategies they believe are key to the success of the organization and of what to improve and how. And yet they don't look at the critical pieces to this puzzle which are the people who will be implementing the change and how.

"Leadership for today's world requires enlarging one's capacity to see the whole board as in a chess match - to see the complex, often volatile interdependence among the multiple systems that constitute the new commons." - Leadership Can be Taught, by Sharon Daloz Parks

Great leaders play chess rather than checkers with their people. They understand that all the pieces move differently, that people aren't motivated by the same things, or learn in the same way. Great leaders discover what is unique about each person and capitalize on it. They must play a unique role. to rally people toward a better future. They instigate. They are driven by their compulsion for a better future and do everything in their power to get other people to come together to make this future come true.

By definition they’ll be successful in leading only when they find a way to make many people, regardless of each person's uniqueness, excited by and confident in this better, shared future. That is the essence of great leadership.

The Power of One

I love Seth Godin's blog this morning The Power of One a Day. I can't tell you how many people ask me how they can market themselves, their work or an idea and look at their marketing plan as this huge entity that, even in concept, is overwhelming. Because it's so big, they park it and just get on with their every day lives and what they've always done. They don't do what they have to do, even what step at a time, to be remarkable.

I maintain that life can be complex but doesn't have to be overly complicated. Seth's post is a perfect example of that.

Before you go diving in and doing everything on Seth's list, I'll ask you to answer a few questions for yourself. First of all, what are you really great at? It's much easier to market yourself and your work if you're brilliant at it and others can see that you are. 

Start there. 

Secondly who don't you know who you need to know? Start meeting and having those percolating conversations with people who will 'grow' you and your way of thinking and vise versa. Lastly, what don't you know that you need to know? Make everything you do a learning and growth experience for you and those you interact with.

Now go build your mountain. Get ready. It's going to be HUGE!
 

Work / Life Balance is a Myth

Work / life balance, in reality, is a myth. To believe we can balance our work and life to the "nth" degree so that everything fits perfectly in its place assumes that life is controllable and static, at least long enough to control it. Nor does it take into consideration all the external factors at play which we have no control of.

Years ago one of the lead performers for the Cirque du Soleil was asked how he can keep his balance. His answer, which definitely applies to this was, "I don't keep my balance and stay still. I'm constantly readjusting".

To have any sort of a balanced life we have to learn to dance in real time with whatever comes our way. That's what keeps us resilient, readjusting and being able to stay psychologically balanced no matter what.

What Do You Suck At?

Danielle LaPorte asked the burning question "What do you suck at?" A GREAT question!

For me there are a few answers. I'll get the ball rolling and ask you to throw in your three cents as well....

I suck at accepting praise. When someone compliments me, I give them every reason in the book as to why "it" happened but I'm not a part of the equation. I have to learn to say thank you.

I'm horrible at delegating. I eliminate delay in all its forms (whenever possible) so have a hard time waiting for someone to get something done. 

I'll add to this over time. 

I live by "When at first you don't succeed, try something you've already been successful at and become masterful at it". That frees up others to step up and show their mastery in areas where I suck. Thus a great partnership or team is formed!

What do you suck at?

 

What Does Your Picture Look Like?

Life is a puzzle. How you put the pieces together will paint what your life's picture will look like. What pieces are missing? How do you find them and complete the picture?

I was reading Peter Bregman's piece this morning about "Who Are You Really Mad At?" How we treat others is a huge puzzle piece and creates a ripple effect for how others will do the same and whether or not we'll be viewed (and treated) with respect.

A part of that are the questions "Are you living your own story or one that others have of you? Are you living the life others think you should be living or one of your own choosing?" Answer the question and then put those puzzle pieces together.

Getting Out of Your Own Way

I'm just back from speaking at the International Congress of Coaching Psychology in Sydney Australia, To say it was an extraordinary experience is an understatement. In the sharing and teaching I learned many things, which is, for me, the beauty of teaching; not only to share what I know and do but to see how it's absorbed, viewed and how people might integrate what they learned into their current practices.

This was probably the most advanced group I've ever worked with. What occurred to me, and I believe is relevant for leaders, teachers, professionals in the human systems realm and all others who help people grow for a living was how so many extraordinary people hold themselves back from being remarkable.

So I asked just that question. "In what way are you standing in your own way of being remarkable?" Some had a difficult time embracing the label remarkable in any way. When we dove into that question, the subsequent ones that came to mind (and were asked) were "If you're stopping yourself from shining, why in the world would any of your clients believe that you can see it in them? How are you modeling what you strive to do with others?"

It's not about ego or conceit. It's about allowing yourself to do everything in your power to make a difference.

Many practitioners need a script or a framework within which to work with their clients, staff, students, whoever your target audience is. I maintain that in order to do our best work, we need to get out of our framework and enter theirs to understand where they are to see their capacity and potential. It's working from within their story, not yours.

Are you getting in your own way of being remarkable? What would the global impact be if all the extraordinary people we know (or heard about) held themselves back?