Friday, July 02, 2004

What is life?

"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." Crowfoot

I love this quote. I keep seeing new things in it. It's not tangibles.....has nothing whatsoever to do with money earned, material possessions, where you live or what you do. It has to do with what is, not what's always in our control. This quote also says to me that life is fleeting, so we have to treat time as the treasure.....not throw it away.

I feel very fortunate. The work I do gives people awareness.....possibilities for change by choice. It allows them to reach for the sky but at the same time celebrate what they already have. It's not chasing rainbows. It's embracing the magic at the end of them. Years ago (as I shared with you before) I decided to prune my life of toxic relationships....those which sucked me dry of energy.....those that made me feel used and discarded. Now I give of my time and energy because I choose to. That in itself energizes me.

Once in a while I find myself pulled down by someone who wants to take control of me and compartmentalize who I am. I can't even do that as I continue to grow and morph into a new person every day. That comes with learning. It's knowledge, skills, and life choices that teach me day by day. The best thing Thomas could ever have shared with me was the concept of ‘Attraction’....choosing what you want in your life as opposed to falling into a life. If I'm not happy with my choice, I have only myself to blame. Recently I made a choice that started sucking me dry of energy. Almost like that voice on the other end of the phone....when you hear it after you've said hello, you close your eyes and wish yourself a thousand miles away rather than listen to complaints, criticisms, or gossip. It can happen on the phone, through email, where everything you say is turned back on you.

What I learned over time, was that once you let go of the rope there is no more tug of war. Why would I want to interact with someone who decided they knew exactly why I said things, do things, knew what it is I wanted (or so they thought) without asking and then judged you based on their own preconceived ideas?

How many of you have people in your lives that do just that? And you go back for more. That's the part that boggles my mind. Today I had an "AHHA!" awareness that I was allowing the same thing to happen to me and put a stop to it. I love my life. I am blessed with wonderful family, friends and clients. I'm at the stage where I don't take on clients I know won't be a good fit with me. Unless I approach them from a position of energy and enthusiasm, I am no good to them. If they're there to do battle with me, I would just as soon let them battle someone else. As hard as I work, and lately that's an understatement, I take time for life as well, meeting friends for dinner, having them drop over for coffee, a walk or just a chat on the phone. My vow has been that work never consumes my time at the price of living life. I choose life and laughter and the company of those I love....just as I choose not to take that time and throw it away on those who want to mold me into their idea of who I am or should be....not mine.

There isn’t a work me and a private me. I am who I am and bring both to the table in both realms of my life. A vow I made today was to take more notice of those fireflies, shadows and fleeting moments that would shape my life for years to come. It will be learning how to say “No” with more ease….”No”, because it’s not what I want or what’s good for me, and to remember to celebrate the freedom to be me that choice gives me.

May many “AHHAs” enlighten you to find your own place in a life you create……a life you love…….

Donna Karlin

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