Sunday, November 27, 2005

People are Evolving into Who They Will Be

People are fascinating simply because they are evolving into who they will be. And I love watching it happen at so many levels.

Every day brings a new bit of knowledge into our lives….if we look for it. Focusing on what we expect, on schedules, problems, the mundane same old same old, will give us just that, over and over and over again. Approaching those times with a mindful approach will give us so much more. It will teach us subtleties, show us the unexpected, show us how people interact. I often challenge my clients to be acutely aware of everything around them and to be ready to have a discussion about it. As I’m a Shadow and attend the same meetings as my clients, it’s an opportunity to share information we’ve both gathered to see if we were on the same page. It also gives my clients an opportunity to see if they can “stump their coach” which always gets them pumped and raring to try anything new (there’s a method to my madness).

My goal as a coach is to be redundant….to work with my clients at a level in which they begin to self-shadow or become their own observer, looking for how the pieces in a situational puzzle come together. Eventually they start to be aware of all the subtleties around them and how they fit within that puzzle.

One of my favourite ‘games’ I play with them is during such meetings. I just love hearing “Here we go again. Another hour or two wasted while my work piles up on my desk”. This is exactly what I love to hear. When clients have to attend committee meetings, especially those they’re not presenting at, they lose interest, focus and their level of energy starts waning. What I challenge them to do is to report back to me all the intricacies of the meeting….the personality plays, the politics….who plays up to whom and who is vying for attention even if they really aren’t a part of the central dynamics of that meeting.

Opportunities like this don’t come along every day. This is a time where my clients can learn volumes about colleagues, staff and superiors AND about themselves. It’s a lesson in personalities. This gives invaluable knowledge which they can use when working with these people.

Learning how to hone your radar skills is one way to help a relationship evolve into something completely different. Learning how to approach people by virtue of their personality profile is a very effective way to strengthen and cement relationships. People help you evolve. How you communicate with them evolve you even more.

Awareness is the key factor in self growth at every level. What you look for, you’ll get in others. What you look for for yourself you’ll get as well and if you’re open to the possibilities, you’ll get more than you ever dreamed of!

There is no ceiling. Only the sky.

Donna Karlin

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