Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Having the Conversation

So I was talking to my coach a couple of weeks ago (and yes, I have a coach…don’t all successful people have them?) and one of the things that resonated was when she said “What is the conversation you have to have? Figure out what it is and who you need to have it with and have that conversation.” Well, she said it more eloquently, but that was the gist of it.

One of the things I’ve been struggling with is how to change the dynamics of my work. I love what I do. I am incredibly busy. I know I will have to change the flow, dynamics, ways I work as I get older as Shadowing takes an incredibly amount of mental and physical energy and even though I have more energy now than I did 10 years or so ago, I know that won’t continue into my 60’s or 70’s.

So what do I do and who do I do it with? That is my ongoing question.

Now that I’ve figured it out to some degree, I needed to figure out the conversation I would have with future clients so they could see my vision and how it would benefit them.

However, for my clients, what came to mind regularly were the words “Have the conversation” and how often they have applied to many other scenarios, situations I watched unfold in their worlds.

I find myself silently asking the question “Did they have that conversation?” When there is a breakdown in communication, in work or personal relationships and I hear everything that isn’t happening or is going wrong, that’s the first thing that comes to mind. Have they actually had that conversation to get past whatever the roadblock is? Sometimes the conversation needs to be with ourselves. What is it we want? What are we looking for? How can we articulate it so others can understand and wrap their heads around it so they’re on the same page? How can we ever move forward without a sense of understanding and clarity?

The only way for that to happen is to have the conversation.

How can others know what our passions are unless we tell them? How can they partner with us to create a vision without verbalizing it? And how can others know what it is we want without telling them and showing them how much we appreciate their help and input when they DO give us what we want?

By having the conversation.

Generative dialogue…..sharing our perspectives individually, creating something new and evolving together because of that conversation is a perfect example of a coach/client relationship. We help the client evolve in their lives but because of the conversation, we evolve in our practices and lives as well.

That goes for all aspects of life. Don’t assume. Find out. Don’t for one moment imagine someone is clairvoyant and can read your mind. Have the conversation and let it take you wherever it was meant to go.

Donna Karlin

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