Achieving Mastery as an Executive Coach

Learning the Shadow Coaching® technique differentiates a coach from a Master Coach. This becomes even more evident when I teach abroad, whether Brazil, Australia, or Italy. Coaches are becoming even more impatient than their clients to make a difference and adopt a methodology that is impactful, present and powerful.

Recognizing the essence of the conversation with a client and understanding how to ask the question that will illuminate exactly what they need to focus on in the moment is where Shadow Coaching® training beings.  

As our clients become more and more demanding and their lifestyles are increasingly chaotic, they are going to expect us to have the set of skills that schools hadn’t been teaching until now. That was evident when two practitioners from EcoSocial in Brazil came to check me and my methodology out when I was teaching in Boston. Two hours or so into the class, they walked up to me and said “You will be coming to Brazil to teach”. I looked at them and said “Oh really?” to which they replied, 

“Definitely”. 

The rest is history. Just short of a year later, I was standing in front of 35 master level practitioners eager to dive into the unknown. The level of respect and openness from them was second to none. Not only did they absorb whatever I threw their way, but they questioned, challenged, integrated and starting figuring out how they would approach their current clients with a new way forward. This group just got it. They saw the value of going much deeper with their clients and how that could bring forth dramatic shifts and change.

In the executive realm we need to speed up to their lifestyles while we get them through clarity and awareness to the point of what I call slowing down to the speed of life instead of reacting to whatever comes their way.  It’s also going deeper with the client without wading through traditional ways of assessment and the self-discovery process that might take years.  This is not therapy although we look at ‘programs’ and behavioural drivers.

I feel we need to take the industry of coaching that one step further way beyond the “box”.

The reason I am teaching my model is because I feel it’s important for a Coach to walk into a person’s total life or business and be able to see the central truths of ‘what is’ within an hour….not days, weeks, or months.  

I believe it's possible to give the kind of quality work where we're simply incredibly aware and in tune with all that's happening or at least the critical elements of what is happening that may not appear in any textbook or in any traditional measurement device.  I think as coaches we can devise what these measures are.

The role of a Shadow Coach is to be able to go and recognize the intangibles that won’t show up in any reports, either financial or managerial or for that matter, performance reports.   There are too many things going on behind the scenes to be measure on a balance sheet. 

Traditional coaching delves into the client’s present awareness. The Shadow Coach goes way beyond that level into what the client doesn’t see, i.e. the client becoming aware of skills, behavioural patterns, Shadows (Jungian) and cultural tethers.

Shadows give suggestions in the form of questions. For example, “Forget time management for a moment.  What would your life look like if you eliminated delay? How do you respect yourself in relation to time?”  How do you see them as different?

We are an accelerant or a catalyst.

We immerse ourselves into the moment completely like a diagnostician, using all the technology and all the experience to get to the bottom of things, not just treat symptoms. We've got to bring everything together and be able to sum up the past, the present, the future for that client as quickly as possible to generate that accelerant, to get them there so much quicker, because people are demanding that. They want it now. They don't want to wait any longer. 

We basically help them understand themselves at a much faster rate versus the self-discovery process that can take years to find things out about themselves.  They have plenty of time to discover things on their own but for me I want to make sure they get it and get it fast so they can move on to what they hired me to do.   

I believe that clients are unwilling to take the time it used to take to solve their problems or to make the changes even in an organization. So people are dissatisfied with the delay and are looking for ways to shorten it. As well, I personally believe that awareness is curative, that it's not just the prescription or a Band-Aid that cures but it's the awareness of something that cures. So part of what we're doing is increasing awareness with our discernment and with our sharing and language. That, plus the strategy one might offer, plus the insights or the simple ways we phrase what we're observing can actually, overnight, make changes that might have taken three or four years to implement in more traditional methods . 

It was an honour to teach this group of amazing individuals who, not only realised this, but who were eager to absorb ways of applying this method, not sometime in the future, but immediately.

I look forward to my next class in Milan, Italy and to go back to Brazil in the near future!

What Are You Going To Give Up?

Some people think they can do everything . Well, many executives keep doing things themselves because "it's a lot easier to just do it than take the time to train someone and then have to check the work anyway". These same people start coming in a little bit earlier and leaving a little later to just finish something when it's quiet. Then they start coming in weekends to clear up a few things, straighten their offices so they can think straight and wade through a pile of work or emails. Slowly but surely time and life evaporate.

On top of it all, budget time comes and they have a hard time justifying bringing in support because the work is getting done anyway. Right?

After a while when a lightbulb goes off and they realize it's just not sustainable, they think of bringing in a coach to 'fix things'. Coaches don't fix things. They challenge, inspire, motivate, help them evolve perhaps, but it's up to them to clear away some time and mental clutter to work with a coach to make that happen. It doesn't happen all on its own. Just as support staff have to be trained to work with them and their style. If they're not trained properly there will be more friction than a synergistic, effective working relationship and because of that things will be missed, problems occur and all that will be left is a chaotic mess.

Bringing in anyone to help them through the clutter when they don't free up time only causes them to push harder rather than live better.

So if that applies to you, my question is how can you simplify? The hardest thing to do is begin the process...giving the first things up or putting them on hold. But if you could let go of one thing, what would it be? How can you unclutter? You're not perfect. Someone else can do it too, yes, perhaps differently but the end result will still be what you need.

Just this afternoon I asked a high level executive "What is your biggest problem?" I'm getting material ready for my newsletter and thought the best approach would be to respond to clients' greatest needs. His answer was "My biggest problem would be retirement" He didn't have a life to look forward to once he retired. He was so busy, he didn't have time for the people in his life and eventually, they too evaporated into thin air. He said it was like a series of weekends and he couldn't wait to get back to work after the weekend. He didn't know any other way. Work and doing everything gave him a sense of worth, of purpose.

Before it gets to that point for you, what one thing can you pick to give up? Right now. Get rid of it, delegate it, put it on hold while you get the real priorities done. But do it. Don't just talk about it. Once you start giving things away strategically, it'll get easier. Plus you'll come to the realization that it might not be so hard to let someone else help you out along the way. That's called partnering. A great concept. And you just might have time for a life in the process.

I'll leave you with a quote from my website "The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing" . That goes for your dreams, to take care of your health, relationships, whatever it is you're putting on the back burner for 'one day'. So what are you going to give up?

Best!
Donna Karlin