Basic Understanding of Our 'Personal Operating System'

Is it time to pay attention to your 'personal operating system' and perhaps upgrade it if it's buggy? What ARE you thinking?

While I was waiting for my client in a busy area of her organization, I reflected on some of the observations I was making with regards to conversations going on, emotional triggers, wondering at behavioral drivers, automatic responses, levels of disinterest and stated perceptions. People are fascinating. It's extraordinary to observe and coach leaders in action. The learning curve for me when it comes to behavioral drivers and organizational chemistry is huge. Listening to some of the staffers in conversation boggled my mind.

So as I sat there, watched and listened, I wondered why some people didn't care if they learned anything new ever again and yet wondered why they were so unhappy. As I listened to someone share tidbits of her vacation with a colleague I heard the response "One day I want to..." and all her energy went into the 'one day' but not the "how can I make it happen?" I wondered at a group of people stopping at the foot of an escalator, seeing another group approach and not move. What good could ever come of that? They only moved when they were about to be run over. Can we draw that analogy to life? Doing things when it's necessary and not a moment before, taking care of our health when the doctor or circumstance gives us a life or death warning.

I listened to a discussion about winning vs. losing. I always wondered about how some people think there can be a win-lose (I'm not talking about a competition here). There's win-win and lose-lose and when someone thinks they won and someone else lost, then it's definitely a lose-lose. They might not see it at the moment but it becomes evident over time. I watched a couple of people being bullied openly. I wonder how someone at a high level of leadership can think there's anything acceptable about bullying others. There isn't. Ever.

Then I listened to some state how bored they are. How can anyone find this world a boring place when there is more to learn than anyone can in ten lifetimes?

And then, as my client approached, I listened to someone speak to her in double talk with nothing of substance, no position, no stated objective but just trying to placate my client and thought of a wonderful quote that was shared with me a while back. "What takes real effort (and in final analysis is most rewarding) is making a stand and then living up to it." - Elliott Powell, Assistant Director, National Business Center, Department of the Interior.

That says it all. It goes for us, towards others and for those we impact whether or not we're aware of what that impact is. It's time for us all to figure out how to upgrade our personal operating system. What's out of date and buggy and has to be replaced? If you're leading at any level, remember your attitude is contagious. How deeply you're trusted is contagious as well and will be shared throughout the organization. People don't want to hear "yes" all the time. They want the truth, and to know what's possible, what's do-able and how they can contribute to the overall success of the organization. They want to know someone is watching their backs, to be able to set personal boundaries and to know they are supported to excel. Oh yes...definitely the most rewarding, don't you think?

Redefining How Government Works

Do you work in government? Are you a leader? Change agent? Are you wondering what's on the horizon when it comes to taking how government works into the next decade and beyond?

The Center for Radical Improvement is holding a retreat to do just that.

To quote Jeffrey Press, the Executive Director of The Center for Radical Improvement in Washington, DC "The only thing holding us back from radically improving our performance is our beliefs about our work and our organizations. Once we have the opportunity to change those beliefs, a whole different world of possibilities become available."

Ahh...music to a Coach's ears, especially one who works within government and political organizations.

Generative and interactive conversations will include:
• We don’t make widgets: overcoming the myths that keep government from radically improving performance appraisals: why they backfire and what to do instead
• the ethics of dissent: managing guerilla government
• creating a high performance culture in the public service
• leading program performance by asking the right questions
• using performance information to drive decision making and improve results

If you're serious about morphing how government works and you're a leader who's had enough of what is, come and help create what can be.

Click here to read more...

Don't miss it!

Best..
Donna Karlin

Slowing Down to the Speed of Thought

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not the only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” -Eddie Cantor

Slowing Down to the Speed of Thought
I recently had a short session with a client where he said “My fundamental weakness is I’m not the type of person to make split second decisions. I need processing time to figure out how I’ll respond to things and what’s happening as a result is I’m getting killed by those wanting an answer and now!”

I turned to him and asked “Why in the world do you look at that aspect of your personality as a weakness? In this context, what you’re doing is helping the other slow down to the speed of conscious thought, therefore making informed decisions rather than jumping into the deep end without a life preserver”. He had never thought of it that way.

So, when you hear the term “buying time”, what is the first thing you think of? Is it more time to do things, see things, to play and shelve work for the time being? Is it “I wish I could clone myself so I could do more” and “I wish I had more time to…”? Truthfully it had nothing whatsoever to do with having more time, saving time or finding time (did you lose it somewhere?) so something else could be slotted into that chunk of time. It’s having extra time….unplanned time, space….nothingness, quiet time, time to just be, to let the thoughts fly in any direction, to think, imagine and explore possibility.When do you have creative time, time to conceptualize, to strategize, to play, learn, and get to know others? Or time to just unwind and relax?

It’s All About Choices
“You can’t do everything you’d like to do. You must hold on to some things and let go of others. Learning to make that choice will be the best lesson you’ll ever learn” – Donna.

What do you have to let go of? What are you holding on to, figuring you yourself have to do it or you have to finish it, even though it no longer serves you? For most it’s not as hard saying ‘no’ to others as it is giving yourself permission to use that word. How much more could you give others if you freed up time to do what you should be doing? These are hard questions, but important ones to answer.

Best!
Donna Karlin

**Note: For experienced coaches, The School of Shadow Coaching™ is holding the next training in Toronto, Ontario March 11th – 12th, 2010. Click here to register. Class sizes are kept small so register now to ensure your place in the training.

Remember, the gap between where you are and where you want to be is filled by what you choose to do in the time available to you…every conversation, thought, choice and decision, so choose all wisely. - Donna Karlin

Leadership - Defined?

What is a great leader exactly? That is one of the questions consistently tossed about all over the world. I've read books upon books on leadership, write about leadership but is it defined in the true sense of the term or does a leader's unique style define it along the way?

If defining a leader was based on proficiency or criteria, would that align with the individuality of the organization or the people within it? Is it something one can be measured against now or after the fact? Think about it. How many people are considered great leaders the moment they walk into the position? They don't. That is earned after they've achieved success.

A catch 22 perhaps?

Theodore Roosevelt said "The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it."

If you take that quote and take it to mean a person in a position of leadership (who else would be picking their people?) then does it mean someone that gives direction and then backs off?

A constant complaint from clients.....their work is checked and rechecked and half the time discarded. It’s demoralizing to them and deflates their desire to produce. Yet how many leaders do that?

Ralph Marston wrote "Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment." By doing that, you not only empower those who work with/for you but grow and learn at the same time. Is that a better definition of leadership?

Ask yourself this question....if you lost your title, position and power tomorrow, would others still support you and want to work with you? A difficult question to ask, but an important one at that. It's a question many don't want to be asked because they're afraid of hearing the answer. In this day and age that question is translated into a 360°. You're told in every which way whether or not staff, peers and superiors would follow your lead. But what is done with those 360s afterwards?

I know...many questions. Coaches are great at asking questions for clarification. And as there are many of you out there who are quick as a whip, have insight, opinions, ideas and perspectives I'd love to throw a few questions out at you..

1. How do you define a true leader?
2. Should there be a tool or assessment for a future leader to be measured against before taking on the position?
3. Should peer assessments be done on a regular basis to see if that leaders is measuring up?
4. In some organizations, staff is now choosing their leader. Does that ultimately make a difference in the success or an organization?

Thoughts?

Are You the Best Communicator in the World?

"If you feel shy, nervous, or afraid, you're not crazy, you're not alone, and today
is the day you stop letting ugly communication damage your relationships. Authentic
communication can become as natural as breathing - when you pay attention to a few
essential aspects of what connects people." - Jon Wortmann

We can evolve people through language or we can demolish them. The same applies for relationships, business, personal or even meeting strangers in passing. This is a great manifesto and will get you thinking and asking the question "What do I need to do to be able to express exactly what I'm thinking, feeling, wondering...all of it.

Read on...

Then let me know what you think!

Best..
Donna Karlin

A Different Kind of Christmas Poem

On the day the 134th Canadian soldier lost his life in Afghanistan, I thought this would be worth reposting. I have no idea who initially wrote it but whoever it was, thank you. Canadian troups are out there too and we should remember.

"The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps Canadian, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Dieppe on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in that Korean Land', And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, Something red and, white, ... a Canadian flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a trench with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbour no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least, "Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." - Author unknown

"Thanks for reading it and perhaps for passing it on to others.

Best wishes to you all...
Donna

In a word...FANTASTIC

Seth Godin's new eBook brings you perspectives from some amazing people. Click here to read it now and ask yourself....what if I actually paid attention to what was on these pages?

Best!

Donna Karlin