Friday, August 04, 2006

People Seldom Picture This World Without Themselves In It

People are driven either to be someone special or to be the person others expect them to be. So who will be them? If they’re trying to emulate someone else, how will they hone their talents, discover their strengths and be known for their uniqueness?

People think their beliefs are grounded in logic, whereas they most often are based on emotions. They think life is all about them. It's not personal….yet it can feel so personal. But it really isn’t. So they miss amazing opportunities because they are distracted by the minutia of daily life…are so caught up in their worlds as they think it’s all about them, that they don’t see what’s out there.

Recently, I was interviewed about me and my work in a major US newspaper. The journalist interviewed a few of my clients. It was amazing to see their various reactions to being interviewed. One looked at the global impact of working with a Shadow Coach™ and was very forthcoming with stories, insights and anecdotes into how we worked together and the impact of my work. Another client made it all about him, how he looked, how he came across, that no matter what, he was quoted in the paper. It no longer had anything to do with the focus of the piece. It had to be all about him. Interestingly enough, when it didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to, he reacted, big time.

He’s still reacting.

From a coaching perspective, it told me volumes about roadblocks he was putting up that were stemming his success as that pattern is repeated regularly. It shows me where the focus of our work has to be and to help him see it. It’s not always easy to help my clients get over themselves.

It’s not always easy for coaches to get over themselves either and as I’m creating a new curriculum for the School of Shadow Coaching™, I realise that definitely has to be one of the proficiencies of our profession. If we make our coaching about us, what we think etc, then we are no longer serving our clients. Oh we’ll always have opinions as we’re human but it’s a matter of not letting those opinions and filters get in the way of how we work with our clients.

Donna Karlin

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