Sunday, October 22, 2006

It's All About You

What do you think? Does the title of this blog push a button or two?

I’ve had more conversations this past week with people wanting to set boundaries, but not knowing how. Or they know how but don’t think they can or should or, just don’t set them for other reasons. People think selfishness is a bad thing. They do want to make their lives easier but as they don’t want to rock the boat so to speak, they don’t set boundaries. They’re the ones who suffer and as they’re not practicing self-care, everyone suffers.

Why is that, exactly? I’d love to hear your take on that.

Respecting yourself means listening to your body and emotions constantly and then acting beyond the linear to do what’s needed for your own well-being.

I realise for some it’s cultural programming; being raised to put others first, to do the best for the family, community etc, but even those who are powerful leaders, who you might think wouldn’t think twice about being selfish, have a hard time taking that personal replenishment time.

Why do you think setting personal boundaries has to be detrimental to others around you? Wouldn’t it be teaching them to do the same as they see how well it works with you? And if you take good care of yourself, wouldn’t you have MORE to give someone else?

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly self-centered if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.” – Oscar Wilde (with a bit of poetic license from Donna Karlin).

Selfishness, or taking care of one’s self isn’t about having everyone else cater to you to the exclusion of their own well-being; it’s acknowledging that you respect yourself enough to care for yourself so you can give back more. How you perceive that will determine the level of self-respect and self-care.

What's the first thing you can do to begin?

Donna Karlin

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