Laughter

"There is a form of laughter that springs from the heart, heard every day in the merry voice of childhood, the expression of a laughter -- loving spirit that defies analysis by the philosopher, which has nothing rigid or mechanical in it, and totally without social significance. Bubbling spontaneously from the heart of child or man. Without egotism and full of feeling, laughter is the music of life". - Sir William Osler

I can close my eyes and in a split second remember the first time I heard my son laugh....a gurgle that bubbled from the centre of his being. We were at the hospital and he was being assessed for surgery. Nothing could have stopped the laughter. He was like that. He’s still like that, always finding humour in every situation. It got us through many a stressful moment. Some would think we were nuts to be able to laugh in times of hell....but that’s what not only got us through it but WAY past it.

Stephen King wrote “You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Have you ever tried to stop laughing? It makes you laugh longer.....like being with Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins...when you’re with someone laughing from their heart, it’s next to impossible not to join in. (And if you haven’t seen that movie, then do so. It’s one you’ll never forget). And once you do stop you feel energised.

Laughter creates the smile that lives on afterwards......excercises you from the inside out......and is the only infectious “disease” you want to spread. You can’t be angry when you laugh...nor sad and it brings people closer together than anything else.

Sounds practically perfect in every way.

Have you had your laugh today?

Best : )
Donna Karlin

Home

"This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where I ask
my friends to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love

There is no house
like the house of belonging" - David Whyte

This past weekend my friends in Philadelphia invited me into their new home. And they’re the kind of friends that the moment you walk into their house you feel at home. I got to meet their new pup and their cat...and I’m not usually a cat lover, but this one seemed to worm his way into my heart in his very quiet, albeit demolition derby way. I realised my reflexes were still pretty good as I grabbed for vases and coffee cups about to fly.

On the plane on the way home I also realised that home is within us....it’s not necessarily geographical but the feeling we have deep down as we walk into the arms of someone we love to be enfolded in a hug that says it all, or to a friend’s home that they’ve so lovingly decorated and cared for. It doesn’t have to be my house. It’s attitude....feeling of belonging. Knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

And those feelings are indescribably wonderful.

Best...
Donna Karlin

My Philosophy

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Harold Whitman

I am asked time and time again what it is, exactly, that a Coach does. The definition varies with each Coach, as the work we do changes based on the area of coaching we work in. As well, with each client, the dynamics and focus of the coaching changes. What does remain constant however, is our mission or philosophy behind the work. And after many attempts, I finally put into words what my beliefs and philosophies are.

“How we dream is what gives our lives value. How we choose to live is what determines whether our dreams have value.”

“I believe we each carry a dream of a life we were born to realise which shows up through desire. And I believe that we all have the ability to realise our personal and professional dreams if we commit ourselves to not settling for anything less than what we really want. It is when we move toward our passions that we experience our own greatness, and it is then an incredible contribution to ourselves and to the world is made, by being who we truly are. “ (Donna Karlin)

Going back to two posts ago, about letting life pass you by and losing those important to you along the way, I maintain people get angry at the state of their lives not because of all the deadlines, lack of rest, demands made upon them, rather because they aren’t making their dreams a reality. And in keeping that busy they, in a way, escape from life, because it’s not one of their choosing.

When something is really important to you, or there’s a threat (and you actually notice it) of losing something or someone so precious you can’t imagine life without it or them, then it’s amazing how you find a solution. Why wait until the point of no return?

Best...
Donna Karlin

Feedback

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit. - E.E. Cummings

In receiving positive feedback, we find validation. For many that’s how they find their self-worth. In this day and age where most people are free with criticism but rare in giving praise, our self-esteem gets bruised and battered and it’s so easy to have a low opinion of ourselves.

It only takes a moment to share a compliment or gratitude for help, a job well done, or the support of a friend, family member or colleague. Not only does that go a long way towards making someone’s day...it has lasting effects. And, when you give it, and see the reaction, it just might make your day a little more special as well.

Saying to yourself how lucky you are to have someone in your life, or the support and expertise of someone at work doesn’t go very far. Silence is just that....the unspoken word. People aren’t mind readers. So how ‘bout sharing what’s on your mind, especially when it’s something good.

Best...
Donna Karlin

Just for Me

Being on one’s own after what seems a lifetime of being part of a couple brings a learning experience all its own. I am rediscovering who I am as an individual. Yesterday I read a passage in a favourite book “Romancing the Ordinary” that speaks of dating yourself....doing things just for you, self-talk in a personal way. I know, it sounds strange, but having lived it, it really isn’t. It’s a matter of getting to know yourself and your wishes, hopes, desires, likes and dislikes. It’s not selfishness, rather self-awareness.

More and more I come to realise that many a time, in a relationship one can lose their identity. How many times have I heard “My husband is out tonight so I’m not going to bother cooking for just me”.

Why not? And why not light candles and pour yourself a glass of wine, or light a fire just for you? Or set the table beautifully instead of taking “something on a tray”?

As well, when I’ve had friends over for dinner and ask if they’d like coffee or tea so often I hear “Well don’t make it just for me. If others are having I’d love some too.” Why not make it just for you? Aren’t you worth a cup of coffee?

What is it about human nature that we automatically think we’re selfish if we express our wants and desires? What message is this sending to others and ourselves when we suppress our basic wants?

So now, when I speak to friends who are inbetween relationships and hear them say “You must have the same difficulty cooking for just one as I do”. Well I have news for you. No....I don’t. I love to create in the kitchen, part of my past life as being a chef, and won’t give that up because I’m “just me”. Just like I’ll continue to go out and explore life and learn through these experiences who I am. And through that, when I am in a relationship I will have more to offer. It’s not settling. It’s being a whole person, one who has a lot more to offer because I’m no longer who someone else thinks I should be. Nor do I expect someone to give up their identity for me.

I learned that longevity doesn’t make a successful relationship. Being unique individuals that encourage the other to be the best they can be, does.

Best...
Donna Karlin

Imagination

Imagination disposes of everything; it creates beauty, justice, happiness, which is everything in the world. - Blaise Pascal

Years ago when visiting Epcot Center with my son, he was enthralled with a character from Kodak, named Figment. He was a purple and pink dragon who made you smile with his antics and as he flew above us in his unique hot air balloon, he captured our hearts and stayed with us in more ways than one.

Just before leaving on our trip, this was going to be a post-op visit to Norfolk first then a treat to Disney afterwards....we bought a puppy Golden Retriever, who wasn’t old enough to take home yet. We left him at the breeder’s, planning to pick him up after we returned home. We were tossing around names for him and in a split second, my small son turned and said “Figment. I want to name him Figment and we can call him Figgy for short”. He was that colour...a deep fig cognac colour so this would be perfect all around. And Michael was so excited about getting his puppy that his imagination ran rampant.

Now I don’t suggest you all run out and get a puppy (though that’s a daily temptation for me so we won’t go there : ) But I do suggest you let your imagination free. You see, imagination is a funny thing. There’s no right way to imagine or wrong....it just is. It can be as bizarre as you like without boundaries. What’s in your mind is yours alone....created by and for you, to help you wonder at the possibilities.

What if...

And if it happens to be a purple and pink dragon, then so be it!

Best...
Donna Karlin

This quote was one shared in a comment tonight. I wanted to share it with you as I think it's extraordinary. "Imagination is the distance between improbability and will. That may be an impossibly long way if you aren't looking up." - Michael A. Karlin (my son : )

What Matters

"Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least" - Goethe

I was writing a blog about this, because so many things came to mind when I read it....though for me it was more about people, not things and how it’s so "easy" to get wrapped up in the nitty gritty of the day and forget those around you who mean the most.

But instead I invite a dialogue and your comments on this beautifully written quote and feelings and thoughts this message evokes in you. If nothing else, I hope this serves as a reminder.

Best..
Donna Karlin