Monday, August 09, 2010

What (Who) Are You Paying Attention To?

Friendship survival guide: Barbara Mahany has some great points here. And to take it a step further, how about relationship survival guide? Sure you might go out Sat night, but when's the last time you went out on a date during the week on the spur of the moment? Or do you let the 'I have to pick up the kids, do the laundry, watch that program' get in the way of deepening a relationship? Hmm...chores vs. someone who's (supposedly) important to you. What (who) are you paying more attention to?

I can imagine some of you poised and ready to flex your fingers and start typing every reason in the book why you are so busy you don't have time for a middle-of-the-week date. You're about to defend your POV to the hilt. For those of you who are married I'm hearing "I see her / him every day? Why do I have to go on a date?" For those in a long term relationship in separate abodes, perhaps at the beginning you did the spontaneous stuff but do you continue to do that to keep the relationship alive? Stuff you used to do those first few months such as sending notes in the middle of the day, surprise phone calls for no reason?  Those things that don't take much time but do take thoughtfulness. The kind of things that create a smile on someone's face for hours afterwards and gives them the feeling that they're important.

Friends, partners, family...this applies to all. Yep laundry has to be done and there are other times to do it (like when you are watching that special show, maybe even with your S.O.?) and no, you don't always have to pick up the kids if they're old enough to bus it, and whisking your partner away for a dinner out on what was a crazy busy day just might be the perfect gift to show someone how much you care about them.  

You get my drift. 

It's not about busyiness. It's about taking a moment to think about someone you claim to really care about. And if you're about to give me a what for for bringing this up? Just before you press send ask yourself "What or who am I fighting for?"

The laundry will be there tomorrow.  But will that person be?

1 comment:

Mary Flanagan Taylor said...

Good stuff! I look for and write about life lessons and finding perspective and significance in our everyday actions. http://marymind.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/finding-perspective-in-my-rearview-mirror/