Family and Friends

The saying "You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family" has been used many a time for those who don’t have a great relationship with their families and use it as an excuse. I’m so lucky when I can say if I COULD choose my family they would be exactly who and how they are. And at the same time I’m lucky to have friends who have become family over the years.

Some I’ve been friends with from way back, either families have grown up together or we’re old school friends from our "home town". And others are newer friends, but the kind you seem to have known forever. All make my life very full and special.

Last night when many of them were here for dinner, I looked around the table at them talking and laughing and had this feeling of being so blessed. I was quieter than usual (a feat for me : ) just soaking it all in, thinking that I can’t wait for the next occasion where we can all be together again.

Some were missing and I hope the next time we’re all together, they’ll be present and that’ll make it complete.

I’ve always maintained it’s who I have in my life that makes it so special....not what. Last night was a reminder to me never to be too busy to make a point of having more of these occasions....and never to get so caught up in life’s routine that the important things in life go by the wayside.

To my friends and family who were there and to the ones who couldn’t be....thank you for being. You truly are a gift to me.

Best..

Donna Karlin

Autumn

I love this time of year....when the weather is crisp and "clean" and when the sun shines it warms you just enough to entice you to stay outside as long as the daylight lasts. It’s when sunsets streaks the sky with an artist's brush and the leaves begin to change into a myriad of colour.

It’s nature at its most exquisite.

And as many mourn the loss of the leaves and end of the warm summer days, I look at fall as an anticipation of what’s to come as nature finds its way to rest and replenish and surprise us with wonders to come.

It’s a time for renewal....

B. W. Overstreet calls October "A symphony of permanence and change".

It’s a special month.....when my son was born.....when I began my own company.... and when, as I did today....I realised my life is pretty wonderful just the way it is, and as it’s the beginning of what’s to come next spring, I wonder what surprises it’ll have in store for me.

All the best...
Donna Karlin

* Photograph taken at Gatineaux Park

Our Hidden Potential

"It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards without turning around." - THOREAU




As illustrated in the Johari Window, there are four sides to our selves. One is the quot;Me" that I know, that you know...that’s apparent to the world.

The second is my mask or the part of me that I don’t want anyone else to know....whether good or bad, it’s something I keep to myself and takes a great deal of energy to do that. The third is my blind spot or the area I refuse to admit to. Have you ever had 10 people tell you that you’re soooo stubborn? And your first reaction is "Me? I’m stubborn?" Well maybe if you hear it often enough, it’s time to take a look at it. It takes a lot of energy to fight that as well.

And lastly there’s the hidden potential window pane where you or the rest of the world hasn’t yet discovered what’s possible. Now can you imagine how quickly you could develop that part of your being if you took all the energy you wasted in panes two and three and concentrated on four?

We are all capable of doing extraordinary things. When we open our minds and hearts to the possibilities, anything can happen. And it’s not just for the "other person". It holds true for ourselves as well.

Something to think about...

Best..

Donna Karlin

Dreams

“Stand often in the company of dreamers:
they tickle your common sense and
believe you can achieve things which are impossible” - Mary Anne MBL Radmacher

The key people in my life are dreamers...the ones who spur me on and make me believe, without even trying, that I can do anything I can put my mind and heart to. These people share their dreams with me as I do with them and through them, we truly live our lives to the fullest. Few try to stop me from achieving my dreams. Those who do have had a difficult life and feel only a select few deserve to realise their dreams....like Mexican Crabs (I’ll post that one later).

My dreams can take me anywhere....help me create, imagine, paint a picture I want my life to look like. That place is magical. Remember.....how we dream is what gives our lives value. How we choose to live is what determines whether our dreams have value.

Best...

Donna Karlin

Mexican Crabs

Mexican crabs are very interesting creatures. When a friend was in Mexico watching a fisherman catch these crabs, he noticed there was no cover on the basket. He thought the crabs would escape so asked the fisherman why he didn’t use a different basket....one with a cover on it.

The fisherman told him "These are Mexican crabs. If one tries to escape the others pull it back in".

There are many in life who try to do the same thing....keep others back because they’re not growing in their own lives. How many times have you shared with a ‘friend’ that you were on a diet but the friend (who usually is overweight) would come back with "Oh one time won’t kill you. Have dessert". Or another so called friend hearing you’re going to try for a promotion and since he or she isn’t as high as you’re going to be, tries to hold you back from competing for the position.

If you have Mexican crabs in your life...it’s time to rethink your Rolodex! Enjoy the weekend....

Donna Karlin

Tears

"Let the tears come, let them water your soul" - Eileen Mayhew

Years ago, when I was going through a particularly tough time in my life, a dear friend from Holland told me "Celebrate your tears, because if you don’t have them, then it means you don’t feel. Celebrate each and every one because it means you’re living again". Those words shocked me. I never in my wildest dreams expected them from him.

He was right.

If you don't cry, you're suppressing feeling. And many friends, clients and family who are going through their own personal hells or challenges always seem to apologize when the tears start. It's gotten to the point where I pack my briefcase with a wad of clean tissues because inevitably in a session the tears start....as do the apologies. But if that’s what they need at the time....then that's what they should be experiencing

I can hear one of my favourite clients now "Oh! Touchy feely stuff". Yep. It’s that all right. A part of living.....

There's something to the saying "Have a good cry" because cries are cleansing and nourishing to the soul and when they're over, it's almost as if you have a fresh start...a way of getting rid of the emotional baggage that started the cry in the first place.

Touchy feely stuff aside.....a cry is as good for you as a hearty laugh. You do them for different reasons, but all in all it's a part of feeling and living, being and growing in a world that changes day by day.

From a point in life where I thought feeling would mean being able to get hurt.....I opt for the touchy feely, living, emotional, jubilant kind of life.

So have a good laugh....a good cry...whatever works for you right now. And celebrate them all!

Best...
Donna Karlin

Multi-tasking

We all do it...all try to do more things in the same amount of time. It used to be synonymous with being a working mother but more and more men are catching up, and fast.

In these days of craziness we all need to do a million things at once. Well it’s time to stop, take a step back and focus on one thing at a time. How many times have you forgotten to do something very important because you were SURE you did it? Whether a phone call, meet a deadline or even missed an appointment. You were sure you did it and you did. In your head and as quickly as you thought of it, it flew out the window and was quickly forgotten.

And in the process you’re not only less efficient but are missing tons along the way. You’re not experiencing much of anything. You’re running from one task to another. Not only aren’t you learning you’re not remembering what it is you might have learned.  You're not remembering, period.

Does this sound like you?

"I realised I forgot to pay a bill so ran downstairs to find it to take to the bank.  While in the kitchen I put away the food I had forgotten to put in the fridge and while there, got a call from a friend asking for a recipe. I promised to email it to her and then forgot what I was in the kitchen for in the first place. With a shake of my head I started the laundry, put soap in the machine and turned it on only to get another call. Ran upstairs to get the phone, spoke to another friend, hung up and then remembered I needed to return a book to the library. Ran into the den to find the book, got in the car and went to the library. Came home in time to start dinner, saw the bill on the kitchen table and realised yet again I forgot to pay it. Late charges here we come!

Went into the basement to retrieve something from the cold storage, passing the washing machine, seeing the laundry still in the basket. The machine had done a full cycle with nothing in it! Oh and there was something else
I had to do for a friend but couldn't remember what. I'm sure that'll come to me....."

Sounds almost funny. Made up? No! Got this first hand from a client....a usual state of affairs for her. If she concentrated on one this at a time....at the very least wrote it down, all would have been done on time leaving her with extra to do something for her. And this is what happens to her at work on a regular basis....always behind the eight ball, trying to play catch-up.

FOCUS

Take a breath, finish one thing before you start another. Who knows? You might learn something and actually enjoy what it is you're doing!

Best...

Donna Karlin