Monday, May 31, 2004

Sensitizing Yourself

Sensitizing yourself can lead to emotional surprises. It doesn't mean being more 'touchy-feely' or sensitive. It means being aware of all that's around you and inside of you. And yes, one can get hurt in the process but one can truly live and experience life as well. That is definitely worth chancing hurt. Otherwise it's an existence without feeling. All of a sudden you'll feel things you never felt before. You'll become aware of yourself through the mirror of others.

Each person we meet through our lifetime represents a different "us"...worlds apart from who we knew ourselves to be before. Does that make sense? Think for a moment how you're perceived by family as opposed to friends, colleagues as opposed to both family and friends, perfect strangers or the ones closest to our hearts. We tend to be hurt by them the most, probably because we let them in. We let our guards down, hoping we'll be accepted for who we are without judgment or condition. Until we let people in, a new aspect of ourselves cannot be born. We discover ourselves anew each and every time. It's a freedom of sorts. When we like what we see, we let them glimpse even more of who we are deep down. We are true to ourselves, and let our dreams, hopes and aspirations come out to play. When we try to be what we think others want us to be, then we are no longer in alignment with our values. We then become angry.....more at ourselves than anyone else, though blame is easy to place. Why become angry with someone else for what you're not getting, when you haven't told them what it is you want in the first place? The world is not made up of clairvoyants.

Just this morning I found myself colouring my words so as not to push any buttons. Who am I kidding? That's not who I am. So I stopped myself and said it like it least in my world. I will never know what I can have if I'm not honest with myself and others. A good reminder. It's not insisting on what you want, it's sharing it. There's a difference.

Last night a friend asked me what it is I wanted for my upcoming birthday. My answer was immediate though totally out of my control. Still, it doesn't mean I can't share it, especially with myself. I can dream, imagine, let my subconscious come out to play. And maybe when I close my eyes and make a wish as I blow out the might just come true. Stranger things have happened in this world.

"Statistically, the probability of any one of us being here is so small that you'd think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in a contented dazzlement of surprise." - Lewis Thomas.

The way I look at it, just being is a miracle in itself. Why not ask for the moon, the stars and the sun? It's worth the shock if it happens. And I'll let you know if it does : )

Donna Karlin

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