The Gift of Laurier LaPierre

I'm sitting here with memories of Laurier running through my mind, as I'm sure is the same for so many others right now. All bring me a smile, make me laugh or shake my head in wonder. I remember sitting with Laurier and Harvey at a friend's birthday party (pre Ray) when Laurier turned to my date and told him he was an idiot for not appreciating me enough. That made for an interesting rest of the evening! Still, I found myself gravitating back to the two of them as the conversations weren't anywhere near as fascinating with anyone else. That was what it was like being in their company. Never enough time with them…always treasured moments.

Sitting with Laurier in his living room in conversation to capture for my book, we bantered, conversed, laughed and cried while the dog sat between us, looking back and forth at us, perplexed as if he understood every word. I wish I could have captured the spectrum of emotion for you in Laurier's voice as much as his words. No one loved our country as much as he did. And he let us know it through every word and action.

Having them over for dinner and seeing my kids and family touched by his magic was a gift beyond measure. I am so glad they had a chance to get to know him, even a bit.

Harvey and Laurier were generous enough to have a dinner party in honour of the launch of my book. At one point I found myself sitting next to Laurier. He insisted I do a reading for the group. Of course I picked the piece about him, to which Laurier kept stopping me until I would choose someone else. He teased me and taunted me until I couldn't think straight never mind read! One of the guests turned to me and said "He must really love you. I've never seen him tease anyone like this ever!" That too stayed with me. I think my whole being was smiling at that point.

Last year I made a cake for them for the holidays. This cake is present at all our family functions; holidays, birthdays, and impromtu get-togethers. Harvey was only worried that Laurier would find it in the freezer and start munching on it before the family gathering so was trying to figure out the best time for me to bring it over. I walked into their kitchen with the cake and another small wrapped package. Laurier was about to commandeer the cake before it hit the freezer, but instead, I gave him the small wrapped package. I had made him his own personal loaf which I told him I'd only give him if he'd leave the big one alone at least until the family dinner.

As the cake issue was settled, we dove into conversations about friendships and what that means, who was a true friend and who really wasn't, family, holidays, politics and everything else under the sun.

Those times were precious. Never enough. But when you're lucky enough to have known someone like Laurier, could there ever be enough time?

I'll leave you with some of Laurier's words of wisdom. I asked Laurier "What message do you want to give to the next wave of leaders in Canada? What spark do you want to light in them?" to which he replied:

"Be more conscious of our freedom in this country. Get to know people. Travel, first in our country, then through the world. Get to know Canadians. We may not have fought as many wars as other countries, but in the ones we did fight, no one has ever denied our courage. We are great conciliators. A fundamental flaw is our own people don’t know this country. They only know their region. They go to the U.S. and travel before they’ll travel in Canada. Go to Nunavut. Get to know the people who live in the snow. Watch Canadian programs! Write more. 

We are the first country to believe in diversity. The question of language is no longer necessary. Get to know people's souls. It's in their art and literature. Learn languages. Travel. I want the people of my country to know the stories of my country. Look at human courage. Education is more than knowledge…it's an instrument of discussion. Know what makes our country be right now. Connect with people. We used to have pen pals. Now, through technology, it's even easier. Use technology that is available to you to be better human beings. Better human beings make a better world. Ultimately, if you fail, you will be the generation of the greatest failure in the history of mankind." (Excerpt from Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words - Conversations with Human-Based Leaders.)
 
I didn't have a chance to say it before, but thank you, Laurier, for all you've brought to my life. Be at peace. You'll be in our hearts forever.

Shared Learning....and What's Next

2011 was filled with learning in every realm of my world and my life. There were so many shifts for me. I not only wanted to share what the learning is and was but acknowledge those who were instrumental in creating those shifts.

I continue to learn that it's possible to grow older without growing old from my parents. They are more with-it, energetic, insightful, and up to the minute than pretty much anyone else I know. I'm constantly learning what new leadership looks like from my son and daughter-in-law. It's not about off with the old and on with the new. They integrate what they learned from those before them with what works for them for their present and future.  I learned from Ray what it means to disconnect and enjoy life, (although what I do is as much who I am as my profession but he's really good about putting up with me. He makes it so easy for me to be me). 
 
I learned the art of sharing knowledge, time, energy and expertise graciously and selflessly from Renee Freedman and  John Spence. 
 
I learned you can have the difficult, courageous conversations with a friend and still remain a true friend. I consistently learn from my friends who are my family by choice what authentic friendship means and from others what friendship isn't and make my choices accordingly.
 
I learned how to dive in and (as Seth Godin would say) know it's time to say "Ship it". 
 
I learned a lot from Seth this year. I'm waffling between saying thank you and saying "Seth, get out of my head" …but as his words of wisdom were not only timely but a great 2 x 4 to the side of my head reality check, and because of them, I made a lot of changes in how I do what I do, whether coaching, writing, teaching or living…. "Thank you" wins hands down.  And I've learned that pretty much anything he publishes, either his work or someone else's is something I WILL learn from, tangible or intangible. It might push every button I have and then some, but the learning curve will be HUGE!
 
I experienced the differences between having a book published and publishing a book... when to draw the line and acknowledge that delays are more damaging than the odd typo….and not to wait until 100 people think it might be good enough before getting it out. I learned who I could work with and who I couldn't, what conferences I'd attend and which ones I won't any more. It's time to see what people are living in realms outside of coaching. I need to learn more about people and what they're living in order to work best with them from their perspective, not coaches'. I continue to learn how to shift my view of the world and my place in it. 
 
I learned that we learn from stories and how we connect our stories with those of others'. It's personal that way. We learn better and remember  the lessons longer when a story connects to who we are or who we want to be. I learned from my clients everything from turbulence and chaos to success and accomplishment and that sometimes the latter is harder for them to deal with than the former. 
 
I learned from the TED Fellows that everything I didn't think was possible…is possible.  Thank you Jessica, Dominic, Adital, Su, John, Jon, Cesar, Naomi, Katie, Zubaida, Colleen, Kellee, Rachel, Eric, for opening my eyes to your worlds and inviting me in.
 
I learned from Ron Kitchens and Ruth Ann Harnisch that it's not about giving just to support….it's about giving to support greatness, growth, innovation and learning. It's about giving so those they give to get stronger and are independent.  They are Human-Based Leaders in more ways than I can list here.
 
Through this year's experiences, not to mention through Laurier LaPierre, I was reminded of how proud I am to be Canadian. I love travelling and working all over the world but really love coming home. I am continuously reminded that, although we are similar to other countries, we are unique as a people and a country. We're just quieter about it. We have to be more vocal about it. 
 
I learned from everyone in my book Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words.  They shared their lives with me above and beyond anything I knew before. Thank you to John, the two Rons, Ruth Ann, Joe, Laurier, JD, Rick, Tom, Barry, Frank and Robert and all the others who shared their words of wisdom. Even though it's my book and I've read it 1000 times, I learn something new every time I read or share a passage from it. 
 
Everyone has a story and I can't wait to hear them all. Everyone knows something I don't know about life and living and through their stories, I'll continue to learn about them, their worlds and myself. 
 
For next year, there is a ton in the works. In addition to client work, I'll be doing more team and team dynamics work, part of that will be working with clients on putting in place a reverse mentoring program in their organizations and coaching what emerges through those conversations. I'll be speaking at Catalyst University in Kalamazoo. Talk about an innovative, community-growing initiative! I will be collaborating with client and friend Tuuli Sauren from INSPIRIT International Communications on a workshop for sustainable design to take place in Milan, Italy and partnering with friend and colleague David Drake as we bring Shadow and Narrative Coaching together for the first (but I'm sure not last) time in Toronto early next year. I'll be continuing my work with the TED Fellows which is such a gift to me, wearing my Dean hat with the International Consortium for Coaching in Organizations, and teaching more with MBAs, university students and even doing some guest teaching at the high school level which I'm very excited about. 
 
There will be another book in the works….maybe two. What form that'll take is still to be determined.  Stay tuned!
 
I'm continuing to learn how to better use Social Media and am thankful for the amazing people I've met through it who I wouldn't have connected with any other way.  
 
There's more but I don't want to clue you in on everything just yet. 
 
Suffice it to say, I'm hoping from reading this you'll reflect on your learning this year. The easy lessons and the hard, the life lessons and professional ones. I know I want to learn at least as much or more from the up-and-comings than from the leaders who are about to retire. I want to continue to believe that nothing is impossible. It just hasn't been invented yet and even then, the TED Fellows are showing me otherwise.
 
I'm sure there will be challenges in 2012 but I know the year will be extraordinary nevertheless. With people like this touching my life, how could it be anything else? If you see that I've missed something or someone, then let me know. Tell me your stories, share your dreams and aspirations and maybe I'll be able to point you in a direction. We all have a definitive amount of time to make our presence felt. Choose what you do with it wisely… who you spend your time with, learn from and what sandbox you're going to play in. Make whatever changes in life you need to make to be the best, the happiest, and the most fulfilled person you can be.
 
Begin now and in doing so, remember to take risks. Opportunities and people don't stay around forever. Live life to the fullest extent, don't just exist from day to day. Share your dreams with others, as if you keep them silent they will eventually die away. Help them help you make them happen. And may 2012 be great in every way.
 
Warmest,
Donna

The Journey and Birth of "Leaders"

Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words finally launched this past Wednesday. Through recent months we tossed around ideas for the launch, where it would be, and what we wanted to do. For those who come to book signings and launches, show up at a book store, stand in line to have your purchased book personalized, and perhaps have a few seconds with the author, it's a fleeting, impersonal experience that you might remember when you pick up the book to read it.

We wanted something more personal, a celebration of sorts. The launch was that and so much more...but I'll get back to that in a moment. Surprisingly, many of the people who attended asked me about the journey of writing this book, the around the edges story behind the book of stories. I wasn't expecting that.

Was it an easy journey? 
No.

Was it a memorable, lessons-learned one?
Definitely. So much so, that it almost warrants a book on its own to take you through the journey and birth of "Leaders". Bottom line is, I learned it's not only alright to ask for what you want rather than have to live with what you think you can get when you publish but it's mandatory. A book takes a lot of time, focus, energy and commitment. It might not be the most perfect book but it's an expression of you and what you want to bring to light to the rest of the world. It's your voice in print. I know I will do this differently the next time around.

It was a journey of twists and turns, roadblocks and delays, missed deadlines, commitments not honoured, celebrating milestones, and heated debates - the full spectrum of highs and lows. I had to stand firm with my first publisher on the language that was used as these were conversations in our words, not a series of crafted, perfectly constructed sentences which were always grammatically correct. Let's face it. When was the last time you had a conversation with someone and worried about sentence structure and punctuation?

I also stood firm on the spelling, which probably drove my copy-editor batty as I insisted if I were speaking, and speaking to a Canadian leader, the spelling had to be in Canadian English and when speaking to an American, my words had to be in Canadian spelling and theirs in US. The spell check on the computer lit up like fireworks. Honouring cultures is critical to me and in my work. This is a small fraction of how that manifests itself. There were many heated discussions about terminology. Where I grew up in Montreal, we often use words that are direct translations from French, although I'm an Anglophone. So you might hear me say "Open (or close) the lights" rather than turn them on or off and other terms such as "Go to the cash" to pay for something. I'm still not sure how others say it but I insisted I leave it in as that was what I said in the conversation. I constantly found myself telling my editor / publisher "These are our words, not yours." Too often I found the magic of the conversations compromised for the sake of ensuring perfect grammar or sentence structure. I had to fight to protect it.

Finally, due to delays and capacity issues my publisher was dealing with, it was time to sever that working relationship and move on. Was the book going to go to print? This labour of love was in jeopardy. I had to make some tough decisions not to mention do rewrites and design changes if this book would ever get out.

Well it did. After more than 2 actually closer to 3 years of delays and unmet commitments, many lessons learned, some, thanks to Seth Godin's reality check questions around delivering, shipping, commitments, what are we willing to put up with etc., it was ready to go. Now what? I called my son who pointed me in a direction of Copper Canary editing (they are a gift), another suggestion from a colleague to call CreateSpace (Amazon) to self-publish and within 48 hours turnaround time, this book, with its new cover, layout, and edits was being reviewed. Another 36 hours later, a proof arrived at my door. A few more edits and format changes and off it went to print.

A mere week later it was out on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and this book was born.

Like many births, this one wasn't easy but oh, was it worth it!

We celebrated. The location was perfect...even its name "Play" reflected the atmosphere we wanted to create for the event. We talked, ate, reminisced, shared....clients met other clients, and family and friends got a taste of what it is I do through the words of a short reading and through the others who spoke.

So what's next? I'll continue having these conversations. Everyone has a story all their own which shapes who they are today. I'll be using the book to work with high school students in leadership programs to help them see their leadership through the eyes of these incredible stories. I'll be speaking at Catalyst University in Michigan in January on sustainable leadership, how to pay your success forward,and group coaching some of the community's identified rising stars. I'll be guest lecturing at the post graduate level and speaking at conferences and workshops to bring Human-Based Leadership perspectives to the business, government and technology worlds...arenas which often struggle with the human or soft skills aspect of leadership. And I am pondering over what to write next.

What form that writing will take is yet to be determined. I prefer conversations with people rather than lecturing or speaking at them. So let's talk. Tell me your stories and through them, let's see your Human-Based Leadership emerge.

A Book Launch With a Twist

Maybe in some ways I'm old school. Yes, I know digital book sales are going through the roof while print sales continue to decline and yet there is something so perfect about the feel of a real, live physical book.

There's also something deeply gratifying about sharing a book with someone I respect and care about. We all buy books for ourselves and yet when someone says "I chose this for you" and gives it to you, well… that has a whole other level of meaning.

So I decided, with my new book Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words, I wanted to be able to reclaim that experience for you. Not just the giving part, but the gathering part. It's my hope that in sharing this book with others, you'll get people talking about Human-Based Leadership so they act on a radically different level. Bring people together and who knows what will emerge? So I spent a lot of time brainstorming ways to inspire people to order not one but two copies of the book. One to keep, one to share.

I wanted to do something different for you...

To that end, we decided to hold the launch in my home town and not in a mega-urban centre (as was requested). We also decided to hold it at the locally-owned Play, food & wine and not a book store, so it can be a gathering and celebration of Human-Based Leaders; both you and those you've identified as HB Leaders.

I decided that I needed to be giving away more than I was getting. Not only did I want to share these amazing stories with you but wanted you to be able to share them with someone you greatly respect. Which is why, when you buy 2 books, you're getting them at our cost. Add edgy conversations you can sink your teeth into and delicious food for you to do the same at one of Ottawa's most highly-rated spots, and we have a recipe for an evening to remember.

Click here to check it all out in detail and register and feel free to share this with anyone you feel would enjoy not only the book, but the experience.  

For those of you who can't attend the live event, we'd love to hear your stories about Human-Based Leaders. Share a story with us along with your name and email address and we'll not only send you a discount code for the book but possibly choose your story for publishing on the web.

Calling an End to Youth Homelessness

When I first met Rick some years ago at a conference in California, he spoke about his passion, StandUp For Kids, a program committed to the rescue of homeless and street kids. The first thing that struck me was "Why didn't I know any of this?" and the second was "I have to get to know this man better…talk to him and find out how I could support him, even from Canada." He touched me in a deeply profound way. One way was, I could spread the word to my blog readers, my colleagues and friends. Another way was to publish a subsequent conversation we had years later so readers everywhere could truly understand what Rick and StandUp For Kids was all about. Now, I ask you to join me in supporting Rick through all the connections we have on social media and beyond.

"This isn't about money; it’s about caring! What we've accomplished has no price tag. We know we've made a difference in the lives of thousands of kids. I would have paid that price for one! What we do really helps. You see kids get off the streets, and this work provides me with meaning and purpose.” - Rick Koca (from Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words)

In Rick's words, "Alex Petrou, from Australia, is Riding Across America to raise awareness about homeless and street youth in our country. Alex is making the 3,000 journey from Los Angeles to Washington, DC to help us raise funds to support our programs.

Alex has challenged me to raise more funds for our homeless youth than he can for Australia's homeless youth. So, you up for helping me win this challenge? Ask your friends and co-workers to match your donation."
 
http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/rick-koca/ridingacrossamerica

"Each week our programs reach out to more than 1,000 kids to help feed, clothe, provide hygiene products, and assist in any way we can. That means that there are still more than 1.2 million kids that we're not helping.

We're 99% volunteers, and have in the past 22 years, became the largest organization in the USA to help homeless and street youth. We know, these past few years have been difficult on us all, and as we head into 2012, we need your help more than ever. Shamefully, with the economy the way it is, more kids are ending up on the streets.
We have several wonderful things happening through the end of the year; LeAnn Rimes with her new single "Give", the band Switchfoot, who has been supporting us for many years, with their new single "Dark Horses", and a national event called "The Big Purple Couch". All of this to raise awareness and support for America's more than 1.3 million homeless and street youth. Visit our web site, get involved, make a difference, check it out.  www.standupforkids.org "

Thank you!
 
Rick Koca
Founder, StandUp For Kids

Blog it, Tweet it, and Facebook it....share it with everyone you know and say "Enough! We're going to call an end to youth homelessness!"  

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/rick-koca/ridingacrossamerica

Change Agent

Robert Zitz (Chapter 12 of Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words) is retiring from the public service after more than 32 years of dedicated government service to his country. He held key positions as Deputy Director, Mission Support Directorate, The National Reconnaissance Office,  Deputy Associate Director at the United States Secret Service, and Deputy Under Secretary of Preparedness and National Protection & Programs at Department of Homeland Security to name a few.

In the book, we discussed what's next for him and, as he's retiring from government (but not retiring completely), our conversation will continue. Stay tuned...
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In the article that was written about his retirement, (got goeint - Chronicling the future of geospacial intelligence http://www.gotgeoint.com/archives/geoint-visionary-rob-zitz-retires-from-government-service/), USGIF President Keith Masback said "With all of that said, there seemed to be universal agreement during the ceremony and in the discussion afterwards, that Rob’s most critical lasting legacy may well be his devotion to developing the next generation of Intelligence Community leaders. He continuously mentored and developed young minds and inspired everyone he has come in contact with. Rob Zitz is truly a leader among leaders in the GEOINT community."

Rob has joined the Science Applications International Corporation (SAIC) in the company's Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance (ISR) Group as Senior Vice President and Chief Systems Architect. In this role, Zitz will help shape the group's solutions in airborne, maritime, national security space, and ground ISR programs, along with associated processing, exploitation, and dissemination  systems.  

He is a change agent in every sense of the word. In our conversation he spoke about what that means... "One of the lessons of a successful change agent is you've got to be good at visioning. You've got to be able to foresee the future and understand what the possibilities are. Visioning involves understanding the strategic changes that will irrevocably change your customers’ operating environment. These changes include threats, geopolitical shifts, economic trends, health issues, climate change, etc."

When I asked him what was next, Rob said "I'm talking now to the leadership of the intelligence community to see how I can continue to contribute. I expect to work on transformation, meaning helping to connect the dots inside the Intelligence community, the military community, the Homeland Security community, and law enforcement community. I expect I will continue to be in a position to help integrate and share information up, down, back and forth, and sideways." 

 We look forward to seeing how Rob writes this next chapter in his life.
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SAIC is a FORTUNE 500® scientific, engineering, and technology applications company that uses its deep domain knowledge to solve problems of vital importance to the nation and the world, in national security, energy and the environment, critical infrastructure, and health.  The company's approximately 41,000 employees serve customers in the U.S. Department of Defense, the intelligence community, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, other U.S. Government civil agencies and selected commercial markets.  It is headquartered in McLean, Va. (PR Newswire)

Collaboration

"I start where the last man left off" - Thomas Edison

Now isn't that what collaboration is all about? When Ron Worton (Chapter 6 Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words) was head of one of the top genetics labs in the world and, with his team, discovered the gene for Muscular Dystrophy, he spoke about the journey towards that moment of discovery. Researchers and geneticists around the world came together towards a common goal - to discover the gene so they could work on a cure.


How powerful is it when people can set aside ego and recognize they have power with people, not power over people. Great minds coming together....

Worrying is Way Too Over-Rated

The other day while I was working with one of my clients, something was telling me I should ask him how everything was - life, living, vacation planning - all the non-work-related things. He shared something that was going on in his personal life that was weighing on him greatly. After he shared what was happening, he ended it by saying "Don't worry about me".

My answer was "I'm not going to worry about you. Worrying won't help you. What will change if I worried? No. I am here to support you through this." 

There are people in our lives who will worry about us, give us unsolicited advice and, although they mean well, give advice which stems from emotion, not necessarily common sense. People in our lives want us to feel better so might tell us what they think we want to hear. Instead, how about just listening and asking the non-judgmental questions that will help give them clarity? And how about trusting that they know what is right for them? Even if they don't, they'll know you're there to support them throughout.

Coaches (or as Ruth Ann Harnisch says, GREAT coaches) understand that it's OK to let clients live in the questions. We're not there to give them answers. We're there to help them think differently, clarify, and simplify.

GREAT leaders understand they can lead from a sense of humanness without being pushovers. They don't hand you anything on a silver platter; they support you to grow into your level of excellence. They understand that everyone has different talents and strengths and different ways of doing things and create an environment within which you find out just what that is.

You Become What You Focus On

""You become what you focus on" and "You become like the people you surround yourself with." Whatever you think about, whatever you study, whatever your brain is filled with — TV, books, CDs, DVDs, audio books, networking, and those you surround yourself with — are what determines what your life will turn out like. "" — John Spence.

"Driven by an insatiable curiosity to understand the fundamental aspects of what it takes to achieve and sustain excellence in business and life, John Spence has earned a reputation as a leading authority in the areas of Strategic Thinking, High-Performance Teams, Advanced Leadership Development, and Delivering Consistently Superior Customer Service, making him one of the most highly sought after executive educators and professional speakers in America." (JohnSpence.com)
 

John Spence is an extraordinary man, leader, teacher and speaker and I am honored to have him grace the pages of my book (Chapter 1, Leaders: Their Stories, Their Words).

"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand." — General Colin Powell. Or as John says, ...."making the complex awesomely simple."