"What would you do if you heard a rumor that a co-worker was on drugs or had a drinking problem?” Recently at dinner with friends there were many “What if” or “What would you do” questions tossed around. The first about a chemical dependency was one of them. Another was “What would you do if you heard some news that affected a client, a family member or a colleague, that hadn’t been shared with that individual yet? Would you tell him/her, even if it was good news?”
We polled the table and it seems women would say something and men wouldn’t. Interesting don’t you think?
In my world, where I hear decisions as they’re being made, these decisions directly affect my clients lives, whether it’s a posting abroad, a promotion or a political appointment. I cannot say a word for various reasons, one being a confidentiality issue as everything shared with me or in front of me remains confidential by virtue of the ethics of my profession among other things. Secondly if for any reason any information would leak out, they might lose the appointment and that wouldn’t be good news for anyone.
Still, for example, if you knew your spouse was going to find out something life altering, a promotion, a transfer etc before he or she knew of it, and it also impacted your life, what would you do? Would you say something or wait for official notification? The last question that was asked was, “If you hadn’t said anything would you fess up to having known it beforehand?” That’s probably the biggest dilemma of all as it might affect the level of trust between the two of you. Or would it perhaps strengthen it?
A dilemma for many; black and white for others. Many had a very hard time with this, more with finding out someone close to them knew and didn’t say anything, even when it was fantastic news. They felt betrayed.
If you were in this position, would you do and why? Your answers will help many people in this position and, perhaps, you yourself if you become faced with this same issue at some point in your life.
Best!
Donna Karlin
*Notables: Welcome new subscriber from Monaco. 137 countries and territories and counting!
Our Beta version of the eGuide 'So You Want To Get Divorced?' has just launched. Check it out at our reduced Beta price at www.soyouwanttogetdivorced.com
It's a unique way to keep your head on straight during and after one of the most stressful experiences of your life. And you know what? Not only are you going to keep your head on straight, you're going to thrive through the process. It's about 'thrival', not just survival.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
What People Want
Are you inspiring your staff or motivating them one task, one project at a time? One is sustainable and energizing and the other is task oriented and expensive energy. There have been many studies undertaken over the years to look at employee retention, growth of rising stars, employee satisfaction and morale etc, and most of them generate the same conclusions. Studies look at why morale might be low and how this organizational culture might enable poor staff retention. It’s just as important to look at what’s being done to counteract and reverse those trends as it is to study the dynamics and reactions because of them.
In symposia, conferences and around board room tables we are continually delving into what people wanted from their workplace relationships. It goes beyond levels of position to the impact of cultural differences, gender, age and intensity of workload.
The similarities of the 'new staffers' and the 'almost ready to retire staffers' is quite amazing actually. Among other things, what both age groups want is respect.
If morale is low, what are the ramifications? Is there a mass exodus, and if so, how long would anyone want to work for an organization with such massive turnover? You’re always back to square one starting over as you train and retrain new people. However it’s not enough to do these studies and then park the results, even the reasons behind what those results are showing. People take jobs because of people and they leave jobs because of people.
As an Executive Shadow Coach™ I look at trends, cultures, and organizational climate, however it’s not the organization but the individuals within these organizations that create change and make the difference. What are the behaviors that aren’t serving them? Is leadership trying to motivate staff or inspire them to do their best all the time? There is a huge difference between motivating and inspiring. The first comes from an external influence such as perhaps a raise, a bonus or award or even to meet stiff deadlines.
Motivating is expensive energy. Inspiring one to be their best, do their best and recognize and speak to their and each other’s best brings a whole new level of energy to an organization. Take for example a policy that shows staff “I caught you doing something good”. It’s not about a prize or bonus but recognition that people have noticed an individual or group’s good work, creativity, effectiveness and leadership. Don’t you think staff will want to do their best on a regular basis they know people are paying attention? That’s not task oriented, it’s fundamental changes in ‘ways of being’ and communicating. For some, what they crave the most is hearing the words "Thank you".
Best!
Donna Karlin
In symposia, conferences and around board room tables we are continually delving into what people wanted from their workplace relationships. It goes beyond levels of position to the impact of cultural differences, gender, age and intensity of workload.
The similarities of the 'new staffers' and the 'almost ready to retire staffers' is quite amazing actually. Among other things, what both age groups want is respect.
If morale is low, what are the ramifications? Is there a mass exodus, and if so, how long would anyone want to work for an organization with such massive turnover? You’re always back to square one starting over as you train and retrain new people. However it’s not enough to do these studies and then park the results, even the reasons behind what those results are showing. People take jobs because of people and they leave jobs because of people.
As an Executive Shadow Coach™ I look at trends, cultures, and organizational climate, however it’s not the organization but the individuals within these organizations that create change and make the difference. What are the behaviors that aren’t serving them? Is leadership trying to motivate staff or inspire them to do their best all the time? There is a huge difference between motivating and inspiring. The first comes from an external influence such as perhaps a raise, a bonus or award or even to meet stiff deadlines.
Motivating is expensive energy. Inspiring one to be their best, do their best and recognize and speak to their and each other’s best brings a whole new level of energy to an organization. Take for example a policy that shows staff “I caught you doing something good”. It’s not about a prize or bonus but recognition that people have noticed an individual or group’s good work, creativity, effectiveness and leadership. Don’t you think staff will want to do their best on a regular basis they know people are paying attention? That’s not task oriented, it’s fundamental changes in ‘ways of being’ and communicating. For some, what they crave the most is hearing the words "Thank you".
Best!
Donna Karlin
Friday, October 03, 2008
Ignorance Can Be a Good Thing
How many times have you heard “Knowledge is power”? Knowledge can also kill your power.
One of the most difficult roadblocks to get past with my clients is when they become successful. Many many years ago I used to do an exercise with my clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and tangible). They used to set short term and long term goals. When they reached their half way point, way too often they would back off and plateau. This wasn’t the kind of plateau that George Leonard speaks about when he says you achieve mastery while plateauing; it’s the kind of plateau where you hit a brick wall and start regressing because something inside you says “I never thought I’d ever get this far. Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead and not press my luck”. Sound familiar?
Luck has nothing to do with it. My clients achieve success because of hard work, determination and an energy that won’t get them down. Sometimes the process can bring you down and sometimes too much information can stop you dead as well. What do you have to pay attention to and what shouldn't you pay attention to?
I’m not stating this is the only way to go and that it would work for the masses (caveat ahead of time). For years I’ve been asked about my business plan. “What is your 5 or 10 year business plan so you can measure your success against it?” How many set goals for themselves that seem realistic but they’re sidetracked, make new decisions to go in a different direction or decide they wanted to make new choices in their lives? Then along come friends, colleagues and family members who ask “Whatever ever happened to….?” and self-confidence flies out the window as you find yourself making excuses as to why you’re not already successful.
How many set goals and plans for themselves and miss incredible opportunities along the way? If I had stuck to “the plan” half of the amazing opportunities that have presented themselves over the years would have been tossed aside or completely ignored.
Starting out, many who are now successful leaders didn’t necessarily have all the knowledge they needed to start a company or dive into a profession but their passions guided them there. As they didn’t gather the data or speak to so called experts who would tell them it couldn’t happen, it didn’t occur to them that it couldn’t happen. Rather they knew they would do all they needed to do to make things happen.
When I broke away from being an associate with a large national company I didn’t look for all the data that would back up why I would fail on my own. I didn’t look at statistics or gather reams of information. What I did do was listen to what the needs were of the people around me and figure out what I could do to meet those needs and then some. For me, ignorance with regards to the business piece of my practice was bliss and because of that every year I reach a new high in my work and my life.
You could either look at all the ‘why nots’ or say “Why not?” Choice is yours. Next time you have the opportunity to meet with someone successful in their field, ask them how much was planned and how much just happened. And if you’d like to share some of that with us, great. We’d love to hear!
Best...
Donna Karlin
***Note: Welcome new subscriber from Guam. We hope you stay a while and make yourself welcome! 136 countries and counting.
One of the most difficult roadblocks to get past with my clients is when they become successful. Many many years ago I used to do an exercise with my clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and tangible). They used to set short term and long term goals. When they reached their half way point, way too often they would back off and plateau. This wasn’t the kind of plateau that George Leonard speaks about when he says you achieve mastery while plateauing; it’s the kind of plateau where you hit a brick wall and start regressing because something inside you says “I never thought I’d ever get this far. Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead and not press my luck”. Sound familiar?
Luck has nothing to do with it. My clients achieve success because of hard work, determination and an energy that won’t get them down. Sometimes the process can bring you down and sometimes too much information can stop you dead as well. What do you have to pay attention to and what shouldn't you pay attention to?
I’m not stating this is the only way to go and that it would work for the masses (caveat ahead of time). For years I’ve been asked about my business plan. “What is your 5 or 10 year business plan so you can measure your success against it?” How many set goals for themselves that seem realistic but they’re sidetracked, make new decisions to go in a different direction or decide they wanted to make new choices in their lives? Then along come friends, colleagues and family members who ask “Whatever ever happened to….?” and self-confidence flies out the window as you find yourself making excuses as to why you’re not already successful.
How many set goals and plans for themselves and miss incredible opportunities along the way? If I had stuck to “the plan” half of the amazing opportunities that have presented themselves over the years would have been tossed aside or completely ignored.
Starting out, many who are now successful leaders didn’t necessarily have all the knowledge they needed to start a company or dive into a profession but their passions guided them there. As they didn’t gather the data or speak to so called experts who would tell them it couldn’t happen, it didn’t occur to them that it couldn’t happen. Rather they knew they would do all they needed to do to make things happen.
When I broke away from being an associate with a large national company I didn’t look for all the data that would back up why I would fail on my own. I didn’t look at statistics or gather reams of information. What I did do was listen to what the needs were of the people around me and figure out what I could do to meet those needs and then some. For me, ignorance with regards to the business piece of my practice was bliss and because of that every year I reach a new high in my work and my life.
You could either look at all the ‘why nots’ or say “Why not?” Choice is yours. Next time you have the opportunity to meet with someone successful in their field, ask them how much was planned and how much just happened. And if you’d like to share some of that with us, great. We’d love to hear!
Best...
Donna Karlin
***Note: Welcome new subscriber from Guam. We hope you stay a while and make yourself welcome! 136 countries and counting.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Stewardship
Week before last I was a participant in the ICCO (International Consortium for Coaching in Organizations) Symposium on “Coaching Excellence for Sustainable Leadership. We looked at the terms 'leadership', 'sustainable leadership', 'coaching excellence' and what that is exactly, and why do we WANT leadership to be sustainable? To what end?
As you can imagine, the conversation could have continued forever, so half the difficulty was to synthesize it in a way we could all move forward in our work in the time available to us.
For me, my interpretation of stewardship is “Being responsible to future generations for their condition; that we do not own the world but we pledge to do no harm in the world.” To be stewards is very humbling.
The question I always ask of me and others is, “Are you paying attention to your level of impact on people, situations, your world and the world as a whole?”
In the symposium the easy part of our discussion was looking at sustainable leadership for the greater good, not the greater bad. For some a no brainer but for others, well, it’s a thing to consider, is it not? Like many other topics of conversation and focal points in our lives, the meanings continually change. What the symposium did for me in one instance was help me wrap my head around the implications of sustainable leadership for the world and what failure would mean. Being a leader and what it might mean to drop the ball in the role of leader, and I’m not talking level of responsibility in an organization, I mean a leader in any meaning of that term, is a lot of pressure and the implications are huge and yet many people do take on that responsibility. Whether it’s to our kids, our peers, family, friends, colleagues, it doesn’t matter. What matters is we’re paying attention to the impact everything we do has on others and the ripple effect that might create.
Right after the symposium we dove into an ICCO Board meeting where I was voted in as Vice President. I was humbled, honoured and then had this overwhelming feeling come over me that for this organization and its global impact I have to be a steward not only for the people I’m working with on the Board, who I highly respect and mean the world to me, and the organization as a whole, but for all those impacted by our work. It’s extremely humbling and something I take very seriously.
Observing the two campaigns going on in the US and Canada I wonder if the concept of stewardship enters the minds of those who are running for office? I wonder if that ever enters the picture in a campaign where campaign managers tell them where to go, what to say and where to say it to give them the best chance of being elected. But what if they spoke to the people from a perspective of Stewardship?
Just wondering out loud like I often do. I invite you to wonder with me…
Christina Baldwin said “To work in the world lovingly means that we are defining what we will be for, rather than reacting to what we are against.”
What will you be for?
Best..
Donna Karlin
As you can imagine, the conversation could have continued forever, so half the difficulty was to synthesize it in a way we could all move forward in our work in the time available to us.
For me, my interpretation of stewardship is “Being responsible to future generations for their condition; that we do not own the world but we pledge to do no harm in the world.” To be stewards is very humbling.
The question I always ask of me and others is, “Are you paying attention to your level of impact on people, situations, your world and the world as a whole?”
In the symposium the easy part of our discussion was looking at sustainable leadership for the greater good, not the greater bad. For some a no brainer but for others, well, it’s a thing to consider, is it not? Like many other topics of conversation and focal points in our lives, the meanings continually change. What the symposium did for me in one instance was help me wrap my head around the implications of sustainable leadership for the world and what failure would mean. Being a leader and what it might mean to drop the ball in the role of leader, and I’m not talking level of responsibility in an organization, I mean a leader in any meaning of that term, is a lot of pressure and the implications are huge and yet many people do take on that responsibility. Whether it’s to our kids, our peers, family, friends, colleagues, it doesn’t matter. What matters is we’re paying attention to the impact everything we do has on others and the ripple effect that might create.
Right after the symposium we dove into an ICCO Board meeting where I was voted in as Vice President. I was humbled, honoured and then had this overwhelming feeling come over me that for this organization and its global impact I have to be a steward not only for the people I’m working with on the Board, who I highly respect and mean the world to me, and the organization as a whole, but for all those impacted by our work. It’s extremely humbling and something I take very seriously.
Observing the two campaigns going on in the US and Canada I wonder if the concept of stewardship enters the minds of those who are running for office? I wonder if that ever enters the picture in a campaign where campaign managers tell them where to go, what to say and where to say it to give them the best chance of being elected. But what if they spoke to the people from a perspective of Stewardship?
Just wondering out loud like I often do. I invite you to wonder with me…
Christina Baldwin said “To work in the world lovingly means that we are defining what we will be for, rather than reacting to what we are against.”
What will you be for?
Best..
Donna Karlin
Monday, September 08, 2008
Election Time Yet Again
I wonder if we set a record...3 elections in 4 years. That's not to mention the expense, and the "here we go again" attitude of Canadians that might translate to many not voting this time. I wonder if the stats are tracked on that when there are so many elections back to back.
Some have a better idea of who they want to vote for and some still don't have a clue. I wonder why?
It's not that they don't know what they want and what issues are important to them . Many Canadians don't know how the system of government works and so they want things from the federal government that isn't in their power to give....because it's in the realm of the Provincial Government to implement. Their voting reflects that.
Still, I love watching the 'players' behaviour during an election and this year I'm blessed with watching 2... The US and Canadian elections.
For the moment I'm going to focus on my own country. I have to be a-politcal in my work as my role is to get my clients where they dream of being because of who they are, not who I am. So to look at the opposition party, I wonder if a poll went out to Canadian citizens with regards to its leader, would they would vote Liberal if the party had a different leader at the helm?
I wonder if the Liberal party is thinking similar thoughts right now? The question is, how likely are they to ever win an election with its present leadership? Just wondering out loud...
To look at the party in power, I wonder if Mr. Harper had a different opponent across the table, if he would have called this election? And if he doesn't get his majority, how many more elections would he call if he feels his hands are tied?
Still wondering out loud...
Donna Karlin
Some have a better idea of who they want to vote for and some still don't have a clue. I wonder why?
It's not that they don't know what they want and what issues are important to them . Many Canadians don't know how the system of government works and so they want things from the federal government that isn't in their power to give....because it's in the realm of the Provincial Government to implement. Their voting reflects that.
Still, I love watching the 'players' behaviour during an election and this year I'm blessed with watching 2... The US and Canadian elections.
For the moment I'm going to focus on my own country. I have to be a-politcal in my work as my role is to get my clients where they dream of being because of who they are, not who I am. So to look at the opposition party, I wonder if a poll went out to Canadian citizens with regards to its leader, would they would vote Liberal if the party had a different leader at the helm?
I wonder if the Liberal party is thinking similar thoughts right now? The question is, how likely are they to ever win an election with its present leadership? Just wondering out loud...
To look at the party in power, I wonder if Mr. Harper had a different opponent across the table, if he would have called this election? And if he doesn't get his majority, how many more elections would he call if he feels his hands are tied?
Still wondering out loud...
Donna Karlin
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Diving Back In
Labour Day has passed, for those of you who celebrate that extra day off of summer and now people are diving back into work with both feet. For some of us, the down time was a great time to catch up on research and writing, while of course making sure we didn't miss a second of sunshine. I made a deal with myself. On rainy days I wrote for hours and when the sun came up I'd be out and absorbing it so it would last through the cold days of winter.
A colleague of mine, Lee Salmon, was a guest writer for the new book "A Coach's Guide to Emotional Intelligence: Strategies for Developing Successful Leaders". We've had many a discussion on this topic, one that continues over time as we use EI more and more in our work. "A Coach’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence is a groundbreaking book that combines the topics of coaching and emotional intelligence in a down-to-earth resource for coaches, facilitators, and consultants."
Fall also brings a great deal of travel, symposia, speaking engagements and back to teaching. In the middle of all this, the interviews for my book have begun, each one taking my breath away as it couldn't be more perfect and in alignment with what I want to shine a light on: Human Based Leadership.
As people are coming back from holidays, this is the perfect time to sit back and listen to their stories. You can learn a great deal about a person by listening to how they spent their holidays, what lights up their whole being while the stories are being told. We spend so little time getting to know the people we work with and yet demand the most and best from them. However these people, these colleagues, staff, managers and leaders are people first and people in roles second.
We only seem to be paying attention to one side of the coin. However that's a very one dimensional existence, isn't it?
Emotional Intelligence is a term we're hearing more and more about. It's not just a term, it's a way of being. When you lead through your authetic self, including your emotions, while, at the same time not getting bogged down by those emotions, you will connect with people in the most fundamental way...through their humanity.
A colleague of mine, Lee Salmon, was a guest writer for the new book "A Coach's Guide to Emotional Intelligence: Strategies for Developing Successful Leaders". We've had many a discussion on this topic, one that continues over time as we use EI more and more in our work. "A Coach’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence is a groundbreaking book that combines the topics of coaching and emotional intelligence in a down-to-earth resource for coaches, facilitators, and consultants." I would say it's a book for anyone who wants to grow people, either for a living or a passion. Emotional Intelligence is not a passing fad. It's how humanity will evolve.
"Companies can continue to give top priority to financial performance -- but many now also realize that technical and intellectual skills are only part of the equation for success. A growing number of organizations are now convinced that people's ability to understand and to manage their emotions improves their performance, their collaboration with colleagues, and their interaction with customers. After decades of businesses seeing "hard stuff" and "soft stuff" as separate domains, emotional competence may now be a way to close that breach and to produce a unified view of workplace performance." -- FastCompany
Think about it, but don't think too long. You'd be much better off if you started paying attention to it.
Best..
Donna Karlin
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A Leadership Project for Leaders by Leaders
It’s time to have that conversation. As an Executive and Political Leadership Coach and a writer on Leadership, I cannot do my job in the best possible way unless I know where leaders ‘come from’, as in their stories, and what their view of succession is to grow future leaders into their levels of excellence.
So I invite you to ‘play’…to take part in this project and suggest leaders to be interviewed. I am asking leaders to spend a bit of time with me to share their stories, perspectives, and ideas in their words so they may be shared with those who will follow in their respective fields of expertise and areas of passion.
If you know a leader, a human based leader, who you think would be perfect for this, please forward this letter to them and copy me with ‘Leadership Project’ in the subject line so I can follow-up. It’s time leaders share their stories with the world and, as a Coach, through their stories I will ‘get it’ as will my students, colleagues and those who follow me in the coaching profession. In turn coaches will be able to coach people like them from a perspective of insight and understanding. A coaching ideal: ‘Win-Win’ for us all.
This is not a project for Coaches. This is a project to give insight to coaches or those who grow people for a living and a passion.
So will you help me in this?
With appreciation…
Donna Karlin
So I invite you to ‘play’…to take part in this project and suggest leaders to be interviewed. I am asking leaders to spend a bit of time with me to share their stories, perspectives, and ideas in their words so they may be shared with those who will follow in their respective fields of expertise and areas of passion.
If you know a leader, a human based leader, who you think would be perfect for this, please forward this letter to them and copy me with ‘Leadership Project’ in the subject line so I can follow-up. It’s time leaders share their stories with the world and, as a Coach, through their stories I will ‘get it’ as will my students, colleagues and those who follow me in the coaching profession. In turn coaches will be able to coach people like them from a perspective of insight and understanding. A coaching ideal: ‘Win-Win’ for us all.
This is not a project for Coaches. This is a project to give insight to coaches or those who grow people for a living and a passion.
So will you help me in this?
With appreciation…
Donna Karlin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)