Saturday, January 03, 2004

Second Guessing

How much of our lives is spent on second guessing ourselves? "Why did I run down the stairs to answer the phone when I have voice mail?" (A thought while having a cast put on a broken leg from falling down said stairs). "Should I have hired this person? What if he doesn't pull his weight? Maybe I should have hired the other candidate instead." "Maybe I should have gotten a degree in science rather than arts." "Should I have bought that car?" "What if.....?"

A second guess only gets you second guessing yourself which can paralyze and frustrate, definitely taking focus off the reality of the situation. How can you trust you made the right decision? By doing as much research as possible beforehand AND by making the decisions. CEOs and leaders make decisions quickly because they have a lot of practice. They trust their instincts and go with them and, if things don't work out exactly the way they envisioned, they make new decisions and build on the positives, learning along the way. And they brainstorm, using the powerful minds of those around them.

Second-guessing or mistrust of oneself brings worry. Many hold onto worry as a close to 'protect' if things don't go the way they want them to. It helps place blame. The more you worry the more you convince yourself that in the long run, the worrying translates to constructive thinking (not) which will in turn create solutions.

Worry turns into self-nagging which creates anger, for not only did you waste all that energy, learn that worrying or mistrust didn't solve any problems, rather, created new ones, it was a blatant example of being more wrong than you thought in the first place. It starts consuming you....festering.....affecting health, focus and ability to lead.

Don't beat yourself up. What did you learn from this process? How can you turn it around and use it as a source of energy? Was there a missing piece of the puzzle when you made that decision and, if so, how can you prevent a similar thing from happening the next time round?

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. -- Golda Meir

Go with your instincts. They are rarely wrong. It's when our minds rule out our hearts that we have regret.

Donna Karlin

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