Conversations with Masters

I’m back from the second annual CAM (Conversation with Masters) conference. Last year, the inaugural CAM was amazing as for the first time Master Coaches came together from all over the world in dialogue. As much as I thought it couldn’t get better than that…it did. This year was even better and continues to blow me away, even post CAM.

One conversation flowed into the next, ideas percolating as I shared them with colleagues and friends. I made a point of meeting and having in depth conversations with 5 new people a day, which I honoured. No matter how exhausted we were at the end of a long day, the conversations continued as we were loathe to bring them to an end. Time was short so we had to make the most of it. These conversations went beyond our profession into other professions and the impact we have globally. It was looking at ways to ‘play’ in our field and help others and ourselves grow into our levels of excellence.

Two presenters stood out among the rest; Dr. Martha Beck and David Zach. Martha, a contributor to O, the Oprah Magazine, has appeared on The Oprah Show, Good Morning America as well as many regional news programs. She is a coach extraordinaire and engaged the audience in such a way that we ended up having mini-conversations as the morning progressed. David Zach, is “one of the few professionally trained futurists on this planet”, started conversations about the future of technology, economics, business, education, demographics and society. Stay tuned as I’ll write more about him over time. He really got me thinking about bringing the past, present and future together to create something amazing.

One of the questions I’m left with is, what if we had conversations like these on a regular basis? What stops us from reaching out and seeing how others can enhance our worlds? We’re all busy, all up to our eyeballs in work and life’s responsibilities but how much better could it be if we paid attention to the wealth of ideas and keen minds of all those around us?

Now that I’m back from CAM I will continue to make a point of speaking to new people every day. I won’t say five necessarily, but at least one a day so I learn and grow and see what the future might hold.

What if we all did?

Best…
Donna Karlin

Hearing Yourself Think

My colleague Susan Meyer posted a blog on a similar topic. I wanted to share her view with you so edited this to add a link to her blog and some comments. It seems as if many of us are observing or interacting with those who only hear their own voices and have a difficult time hearing their own silence. In being this way, they not only don't let the rest of the world in, but stop others from being heard as well. It gives a whole new meaning to the expression "Silence is golden" I wonder what that person experienced in order to have come up with that remark?

"When I became quiet, they could hear themselves" - Byron Katie

As a coach we not only have to ask the right questions to evoke awareness and answers but we have to give clients the space to think. In the physical sense, I ask clients "When do you get out, go for a walk, clear some space not to escape the world but to let the world in?"

This is the same in dialogue, having the mental space to let thoughts in, to formulate, think, create, just 'be' or hear yourself think as you bounce conversation of someone else. There's nothing like someone finishing your thoughts as if they could read your mind. I don't know about you, but clairvoyance isn't a common thing, though many people think they know exactly what it is you're going to say and don't hesitate to make that known. People like this are in a dialogue of the deaf. They're not hearing you; waiting for you to complete a thought or idea. They're taking half an idea and moving it in another direction and putting it in the "It's all about me" context. People like this validate something about themselves or their past, negating where you're coming from in the first place and absolutely not hearing you in any way shape or form. People like this feel who they are and what they have to say is more important. They don't care that they might be cutting you off, throwing a punch line into a story out of context, making you stop dead in your verbal tracks or even caring about what you might be thinking or feeling. It's about them….them speaking, being heard or having to validate everything you say based on their experiences, not yours.

I always wonder how insecure that person was in order to behave that way. Still, in the scheme of things, it doesn't matter really, as that's their way of being you have to deal with….or not. Choices come to play in cases like this. Do you really want to spend any time with someone who doesn't acknowledge you have a relevant thing to say outside the realm of their worlds? Are you in any kind of relationship where you come away from a conversation feeling frustrated, exhausted and ignored at the same time? Ask yourself why and when you figure out the answer, then figure out why you're still in it. You just might find your contact list shrinking but your energy and enthusiasm for everyone in your life growing in leaps and bounds.

Best...
Donna Karlin

*Note: In "The Emotionally Intelligent Coach" blog, my colleague Susan Meyer says "It seems to be true that the louder you get and the longer you talk and the more often you interrupt, the less likely you are to have anyone actually hear what you have to say. Silence adds a great deal to any conversation. Thoughtful reflection allows the time to digest the thoughts and ideas of your conversational partners and to add something of value."

Click here to read the rest of her insightful post

Makes you think doesn't it?

It's All About Words

While reading a favourite blog this morning, Problogger, I came across one of the posts "Blogging is About Writing" that talks about basics. In it he states "The web is about words. No matter how visual and audible it becomes, it continues to be about the words."

Those who are visual like diagrams but even then it's about words or languaging as it's called now. We can evolve or demolish with words, as I mentioned in my last post. One of the most powerful tools I use with clients is 'evolutionary progressions' or a stream of words that literally evolves them beyond their current way of thinking and being.

In my post this week on Fast Company Experts I talk about upgrading your personal operating system. One of the first things to update is language. Ways of communicating, instructing, dialoguing. Making demands of others will no longer work. Capturing their imagination and helping others feel they're a part of the success of any organization is the best way to bring everyone forward. Blogging might be about writing, and I learn that with every post. It all comes down to words whether in blogs, conversations, strategic direction...relationships of any kind.

Best..
Donna Karlin